I Can Only Be With Him If I'm Thin - part 1

Title: I can only be with him if I'm thin

Author : attentionseekin
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG13
Summary: Why do they keep trying to feed me?
Warnings: Anorexia nervosa..? (If that’s a warning…?)

Disclaimer : I own nothing!! Plot and story belongs toattentionseekin

                  @ http://attentionseekin.livejournal.com/8574.html. I Just want to shared it at all!!

[Chapter one]

As the group took a short recess to re-touch their make-up and grab a bite to eat, Yunho settled in one of the chairs to observe. Yunho however only focused on one person in particular, and the one he was looking over at from the corner of his eye was his lover. Lately Changmin had been acting strange, but Yunho just couldn’t place what was wrong. He had noticed though, that the once open dongsaeng of the group, had taking to writing in a diary.
This had slightly troubled Yunho because it was a fact that, even when changmin couldn’t tell the others what was on his mind, he had always been able to tell the leader, and now even that had changed.

Yunho didn’t want to panic, and he didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t help but think it had something to do with the fan-mail changmin had received the previous month.

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

 [One Month Ago]

The crowd in the packed out arena was going wild as the Dong Bang boys ended the concert with a bang. Nothing under 110% was given and as they were finishing the end of “Rising Sun” the energy in the room was greater than ever. Sweat dripped down changmin’s neck as he panted, looking towards Yoochun, who could be heard gasping. Changmin sniggered a bit to himself, as he watched Yoochun remove his mic, so no one would notice him gasping and force him to exercise more in the near future.

Changmin turned to Jaejoong, who was in similar fatigue to Yoochun, and was grabbing his hip, in what looked like the position you would if you had a stitch.  Junsu and Yunho however seemed fine. Both were buzzing, he really didn’t know where his hyung’s got the energy…  Junsu hyung was grinning at the crowd, whilst Yunho the ever respectful leader, and second oldest hyung, was bowing to the audience. Changmin took a moment to stare at his ‘hyung.’ Gosh he couldn’t remember the last time he had actually thought of the man that way, or called him that name out of the listening ears of the cameras and fans. He swept a glance up Yunho’s lean frame; Yunho had toned up nicely, changmin thought to himself in his admiration. He drifted into a daydream, thinking about his boyfriend, and hadn’t noticed that everyone had already started leaving the stage, the crowd was still cheering the others names, which brought him back to reality. The Dong bang group had already said their thank-yous to the audience and only Changmin remained on the stage. The crowd all looked at him expectantly and he had an odd feeling of loneliness…

Looking offstage he saw Yunho look at him inquisitively. Shaking his head slightly, he fixed his mic and then said

“I promised I would be the last one on the stage and-” the rest of the sentence was lost in the noise created by the fans screaming his name. With a smirk he walked off the stage. When he was out of sight he breathed out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. Yunho was there looking at him, before he grinned and pulled Changmin into a bear hug.

“What was that about?” he asked looking amused.

“Nothing, just keeping my promise to the fans” he smiled as Yunho leaned closer. They rested their heads together staring into each other’s eyes. Yunho looked around before leaning closer to share a soft kiss. The kiss didn’t last long but acted as comfort for the two, as they sighed. The amount of intimacy they shared had been decreasing as their schedules increased but they got by. Now they were both tired and the only things they weren’t tired enough for was eating and sleeping.

Changmin stood up straight and smiled. He then stretched his arms up only to hear the sound of the material ripping. Changmin gasped out loud and Yunho looked surprised. The thread that seamed the material together had completely broken and now Changmin had an almost sleeveless top. Changmin felt a blush fill his cheeks as he looked from his top to Yunho’s face. Yunho was silent before he started to chuckle.

“It’s undeniable that you are the strongest one amongst us Minnie” Yunho said before ripping the remaining cloth from his arms.

Changmin tried to smile, but found himself trying to hold back tears. As much as everyone else thought he liked being strong he in actual fact hated it. It made him feel fat. It brought back the times when he was in school and he was bullied for being stockier. Yunho didn’t know of Changmin’s past but he could see that the younger man before him was beginning to get upset.

“Don’t worry Minnie; I like my men with a little muscle. I'm sure we can put it all…” he said rubbing against Changmin provocatively… “To good use sometime soon…” with a lust filled voice, letting the sentence linger in the air.

In the shadow lurked a silhouette, and as the two boys shared another kiss the person gasped before boring a hole into the back of Changmin’s head as she watched the two with the look of utter disdain. With click of the camera the picture was saved on the cell phone. She couldn’t believe that her Oppa, the one she had obsessed over for years, the one she pictured as the father of her babies, the one who she’d planned to marry, the one that she had travelled half way across the world to see, the one that she had learn Korean for, was GAY?!! Ok… It wasn’t just the fact that he was gay, but the fact that he wasn’t even with his beloved Jaejoong was unforgivable. She had always said to herself that if she couldn’t have Yunho, then it must only be Jaejoong. For Jaejoong was one of the prettiest men she’d even seen and only he deserved the handsome, humble, leader shii. The lanky maknae was not welcome, and in this fan girl’s twisted mind she formed a plan.

‘I HATE you MAX Changmin… how dare you taint my Oppa with your filth? What do you have that Jaejoong Oppa doesn’t? Jaejoong is prettier than you, slimmer than you, more perfect than you… and I guess I’ll just have to show that to you’.

She didn’t miss the interaction when Changmin had ripped his top, smirking as she took another picture and a captured the rest on the exchange. As her phone wasn’t on silent it made a noise, causing the two to jump and look around just as she took the last picture of their intimacy. Knowing she would get in trouble she quickly came out of the shadows, faked sweetness in her voice and asked:

“Yunho Oppa, can I get your autograph?” Yunho was surprised. For a Caucasian her Korean was almost perfect. There was no accent at all!? Though as she went into her bag, he wasn’t sure whether he should be wary of this fan girl… but before he could avoid her she revealed a notepad and pen, and handed it to him with another smile. Yunho wanted to ask if she had seen anything, but he didn’t want to sound suspicious; she certainly wasn’t acting as though she had and so he decided to give Changmin a look as he accepted the pen and paper.

Changmin was looking at him and Yunho caught the gaze. However so did the girl and she wasn‘t in the slightest amused. It only made her resolve stronger to destroy Changmin.

“W-Who should I write this to?” Yunho asked politely, smiling at the teenager.

The girl smiled back, and almost fell in love with Yunho all over again, though she shook her head remembering that Yunho wasn’t safe from his clutches as yet. ‘I will save you my love’ she thought to herself as she said: “please write it to “my number one fan” replying sweetly.

Changmin looked at her sceptically, before his emotions cut off as he watched her. She just silently watched him back with a grim look on her face before saying

“Changmin Oppa aren’t you getting a bit… fat?” the girl asked in English, confusing the two Korean men before her. She quickly apologised in Korean before rephrasing her sentence asking: 

“Changmin Oppa… Dang shi ni  doong doong hae  ji go im ni gga?”**

to be continued....