Fall in Love Like the First Time

Title: Fall in Love Like the First Time - COMPLETE
Author: lil_pinai (a.k.a. Joey) (lil_pinai)
Pairing: MinHo
Genre: Romance/Fluff/Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer !!
I own nothing. jusyt want to shared. Plot and story belongs to : lil_pinai @ http://community.livejournal.com/hug______/1886013.html#cutid1

“I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Under any other circumstances, that would have been a very romantic thing to say. Unfortunately, this wasn’t one of them. Changmin sat across the table, dazed and a little confused, his head swimming at the handsome man’s words.

“You… what?” the undergrad asked, shaking his head and giving him a look that would have made any other man feel stupid. However, Jung Yunho was certainly not the kind of man that would be intimidated by a mere look. Min expected that sort of arrogance with the ego the older man seemed to have, but it would have made him feel better if he had at least pretended to be offended.

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” the older man sighed, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair, and Changmin had the weirdest urge to mess it up. No one should look so well put-together, and certainly not at a time like this.

“My parents are forcing me to go on blind dates, hoping I’ll find a nice girl and settle down. I agreed to do it, you know, to humor them, but those women are so weird, it makes me wonder if they’re even human. Well-bred as they may be, none of them seem to be good at anything except looking pretty and agreeing to everything I say.

“So, if they think I’m gay, they would tell my parents that they couldn’t stand the thought of dating me, much less marrying me, then I’ll be off the hook.”

Yunho looked very smug at the moment, and Changmin wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Just last week, he was a normal college student minding his own business while he was riding his bike down the street. Why the hell was he not able to stop when he saw a car backing out of a parking spot, and how the hell was he not dead?

Of course Min was asked to pay for it, but tuition and books dried up any and all of his resources. In fact, he was lucky if he got to eat properly these days. He realized that he would have to get a part-time job to pay for his eating habits, and now this accident apparently.

They exchanged information and Changmin had no doubt in his mind that a man of Jung Yunho’s stature and upbringing could pay for the few scratches on his black luxury car. Changmin held his tongue, deciding not to anger the other. Then he got the estimate for the damage, and he nearly passed out. There was no way in hell he’d be able to get that kind of money in such a short amount of time.

So, when Yunho called him with a proposition, he couldn’t refuse.

“You want me to pay for your car by pretending to be your lover?“ Changmin asked, looking skeptical. Yunho nodded, looking solemn but little else. The younger almost wanted to hit him. The least he could do was act as if there were other options. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“I’ll do anything else!” Changmin offered, raising his voice. Even if Yunho didn’t know, Min was very sure he was gay and the last thing he wanted to do was play lover to a straight man. “There’s got to be something else that you need help with. Do you need a manager? A lackey? Hell, I’m willing to do hard labor if it means getting out of this!”

“Look, I don’t need an entourage,” Yunho said, standing and meeting Changmin’s gaze. The latter almost cowered, but he met it with a pleading look. “What I need is someone to pretend that he’s in love with me. If you’re uncomfortable with it, then I suggest you get the money to me in two weeks. But, if you’re willing to make the cash in a much easier way, just give me a call.”

“Why don’t you just ask a girl to do it?” Changmin couldn’t help but ask, and for some reason he had a feeling that he tugged on a sensitive subject.

“Because, for one, it wouldn’t have the same impact on a girl. If I was already dating someone, she would simply find a way to get her out of the picture. And, two, I like dating around. Why get a girl’s hopes up for a few weeks and then dump her after the job is done? This is a much cleaner way to end my family’s plan.”

He smiled briefly, as Changmin felt himself gulp down the lump in his throat. Yunho waved behind him, as he walked to the door of the restaurant, money for the meal already on the table. Sinking into his chair, Min couldn’t help but feel as if he was losing.

And, as he remembered the cost for Jung’s car, he already knew he had.





The first couple of dates were easy. The girls were just as Yunho described them: pretty, but ultimately lacking in the common knowledge department. They looked well-groomed, well-behaved, but with dollar signs in their eyes when they shook hands with their date. Changmin was always only a few feet away, watching through a pair of blue-tinted shades and a suit. Why he couldn’t look like a regular person instead of a host, Changmin never knew, but he through it all regardless.

The women were easy enough to fool. The would excuse themselves for a moment, going to the bathroom of the five-star hotel they would meet at and Changmin would approach Yunho. The older man would always request the most secluded area of the hotel so that no one would see their little scheme. Min would stand near the edge of the table and would wait for Yunho to give the signal.

When the woman walked back towards them, Yunho would take his hand and the blush Changmin thought he didn’t have would surface onto his face. The older would stand and pull the taller man into his arms, just the way lovers would, and they held each other like that for a few moments.

The rest was like clockwork.

A scream. A slap. A declaration.

“I would never marry someone like you! How could you even meet me if you already had a gay lover?”

Then she would stomp off, calling the Jung’s residence and immediately stating how their son was a wonderful person but not right for her. It would do no one any good if they insulted one of the most outstandingly rich and famous families in all of Korea. Well, it would hurt the woman’s family, and therefore she left out all of the details.

However, today’s girl was a little different.

“Prove it,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve heard the rumors that you were gay, but I still came out here to meet you. If you really are, show me so I can be satisfied.”

For a second, Changmin felt panic rise up into his chest. He looked to Yunho, hoping he had some kind of plan. This had never happened before. Most women were too shocked to do much more than yell their heads off before running out the door. The contemplative look in Yunho’s eyes was telling Min that he had something up his sleeve.

“Oh? And how would you like us to show you?” he asked nonchalantly, as if it was an everyday occurrence. The question seemed to surprise the girl, who immediately blushed at his forwardness. She thought for a second, before giving him a stern look.

“A kiss.”

“Is that all?” Yunho laughed easily, as his grip along Changmin’s waist tightened. “All right then. Whatever makes you happy.”

Taking the back of his head, Yunho guided the taller man towards him until they were looking directly in the eye. ‘I didn’t agree to this,’ was the look in Changmin’s eyes. Before he closed them, Yunho’s spoke, ‘Don’t worry. Just let me lead.’

And he did.

Soft lips met Changmin’s, and he felt his stomach fall to his knees. The arms around him held him close, even closer than when they embraced. It was just a gentle part of their lips, a little breathing of each other’s exhalations, with no fervid passion to be found, and yet the younger boy felt as if he was floating. And, in his mind, Changmin couldn’t help but think it ended all too soon.

“Happy now?” Yunho asked the woman, snapping Changmin out of his reverie. His voice was a little husky, but in a good way, making Changmin a little redder. The woman’s jaw had dropped, but it was soon set back into place, as she flipped her hair and stalked off. The older man just rolled his eyes, removing his arms, and grabbing his things off the table.

Changmin just shrugged off the feeling, trying not to be too affected by the other man’s actions. It was much too easy to fall for someone like Jung Yunho, who was intelligent, charismatic, and too good-looking for his own good. Even the men that Min had dated had never made his heart pound so hard, and it was only a little kiss! Perhaps he was just starved for attention…

“Well, since it’s over…” Yunho trailed off, and Changmin bowed to him, as if to leave. However, when he did, his stomach decided to interrupt and the blush was immediately back again. Laughing, Yunho offered lunch, his eyes telling him it was an apology of sorts, and the boy just couldn’t refuse his hyung. In fact, it was becoming harder to do so than he liked to admit.





“A coffee shop?”

“Yup. It was my grandma’s idea,” Yunho explained, sitting across from Min. The blind dates had ended about a week ago after a one-sided yelling match between his family and himself. They wanted him to take over the family business and finally work seriously, but he scoffed at the idea. He didn’t want to run a company and live like everyone else. He wanted to date and play around more. He was still young, after all.

“They think it’ll help me calm down, or something. If I can somehow double the investment in six months, they said that I can live as frugally as I want. But if I can’t, I’m on the arranged marriage track and heading for the office on a daily basis.”

“Bet that’s really different from the usual monthly visits you’re used to,” Changmin said, as he stuffed a dumpling into his mouth. Yunho was glaring at him when he looked up, and Min just looked back, politely confused.

“Anyway,” the older man moved on, “I’ll have to start hiring staff and getting along with my manager. The old man is so weird. I can’t get what’s going through his head half the time. As for the actual shop, it’s going to need a lot of maintenance and a completely new makeover. Maybe a concept would help…”

Yunho began to brainstorm aloud, and Changmin listened in. Maybe he could get a job there. He still needed to make money, even if he had finished his stint on Yunho’s car payments. And, if the hours were good, he’d be able to get his caffeine fix in the morning before school and work in the early afternoons before he did his homework.

He offered his help to Yunho, who raised a brow at the sudden remark. Changmin just smiled, and said that he would even assist him in recruiting some other guys if he wanted. Yunho probably didn’t even notice that he had said ‘all-male staff’ while he was muttering to himself. It was a good idea, since their city was overpopulated with girls who loved idols. Get a bunch of pretty boys together and there would probably be a line for the place.

“You think so?” Yunho looked thoughtful, and Min knew he had forgotten that he had said it aloud only moments before. The younger man nodded enthusiastically, smiling widely when the other met his eyes.

“Then I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other. Please work hard.”

“Thank you. I’ll do my best.”





When the staff was assembled, Changmin had a feeling that this was going to have more ups-and-downs than a roller coaster.

The old manager was Choi Chunghee, who was a little too set in his ways. He had been okay with the remodeling of the café, the new furniture and its placement, even the new name of the shop was acceptable. However, he stood his ground when it came to the making of the coffee. He was a barista at their best, someone who understood coffee even before it was grounded into dust. The color, smell, and taste were all essential in its creation. He was left behind the counter when it came to orders.

One of the staff’s men was Kim Junsu. He was also a university student, studying music at a nearby college. He was bright and charming, with a personality so infectious that it almost hurt to be with him. He took a liking to the group from the beginning, and was immediately in love with Changmin because he was the youngest and the most adorable, in his opinion. He was a waiter alongside Changmin, who would smile brightly and have girls giggling amongst themselves whenever he took their orders.

Another that was hired was Park Yoochun, but Micky was his nickname from America and it ended up sticking. He was very shy in the beginning, but friendly all the same. He seemed to have a strong effect on women because everyday there seemed to be a group of girls who followed him to work. While they would all ask who the young women were, he would look confused as he took his earphones out and ask what they were talking about. Chunghee grumbled that it was a waste that the boy had no idea what he could do to the opposite sex, probably said from a mix of awe and envy.

The last one was Kim Jaejoong, who was a high school dropout with a face made for modeling. If it wasn’t for the masculine air about him, they would have thought he was a girl. He was the head chef of the sub-menu, cooking mostly sweets and chatting up customers with a clumsy sort of appeal. He seemed too elegant for a place like theirs, but perhaps that was part of his allure. After all, who wouldn’t want to be served by someone who was as close to princely status as he was?

It was an unlikely group, but strangely fitting. Most were new to this kind of service, but willing to learn. The cleaned, dusted, mopped, washed, and sprayed everything in their little shop, making it presentable for opening day. Fliers were handed out and posted along any flat surface that they could find.

The hole-in-the-wall café was called Rising Gods, named for their particularly good-looking staff and the overpowering pull that they seemed to have on women. Although slow in the beginning, business started to advance and grow gradually. Word-of-mouth seemed to be their best bet to gain new customers, and they always hoped that more people would refer them to their friends and family.





“Looks like you just might make that deadline,” Changmin grinned, looking over Yunho, who was hunched over his account books and calculator. The other groaned, rubbing his temples as he stretched his back and suppressed a yawn. It had already been two months since their opening, and yet much had happened. Their unorganized orders, a surplus of ordered coffee beans, many almost-firings, and yet the shop and its staff were still in one piece.

In the midst of it all, Changmin was starting to notice that his feelings were deepening without his acquiescence. Longing looks and dazed expressions were starting to become too common for him. He was starting to crave the kind of affection Yunho showed him when their friendship first started, but he didn’t want it to be the same as it was then. He wanted to know what it was like to be loved for real, no contracts, no strings attached. And yet that seemed like a fantasy at this point.

Maybe taking this job wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Yeah, but not in the allotted time,” Yunho muttered, turning his head to look at Min. When Changmin saw him, he smiled softly as if to comfort him. Their relationship was strong, but not strong enough for Min to confess and still be around. If he even mentioned the ‘L’ word, he had no doubt that he would be both heartbroken and jobless.

“You’ll figure something out. We have four more months,” he encouraged, remembering that only three months ago they were strangers to each other. How strange, to know that a small time frame like that could change so much. Who knows what else could happen?

“True. We’ll just have to work harder,” the businessman smiled, directing it at Changmin, who felt his heart jump a bit. But he returned it, all white teeth and mismatched eyes. It had been a long time since he felt this way. Maybe he could, even if it was just for a little while longer, let himself fall a little more. Maybe just knowing he could be nearby would be enough. After all, friendship was like love, is a different form of it, and just as strong, sometimes even stronger than some kinds.

For now, this would just have to be enough.





Her name was Miyoung.

Changmin learned it when Yunho introduced his girlfriend to the staff, and knew immediately that this one was different. In the stable of women that he had dated, Yunho had never once brought a woman to the café, had her get acquainted with the guys, or flaunted her in front of them.

And it broke his heart.

She was a perfectly nice girl. Sweet, pretty, and opinionated, Miyoung was just as stubborn as Yunho. In things where Min or the others would have held their tongues, she stood her ground and challenged him. She held his hand, smiled when he laughed, pouted when he was upset, and made him look as if he was the happiest man on earth.

Yoochun complained that Yuho was so lucky to have an attractive girlfriend, and even Junsu expressed jealousy at the fact that he had someone to love him. Manager Chunghee reprimanded Yunho for getting his staff all riled up, and Jae joked that it was just his manly pride that made him do it. Everyone wants to show off their girlfriends to their friends, both for approval and bragging rights.

In the midst of it all, Changmin had said nothing. When she left, he disappeared from where all the talk was taking place. It was after hours. Any of them could bring whoever they wanted to, and it wasn’t as if Changmin had any claims on Yunho. Even though they spent many meals together, fought with each other on a weekly basis, and made up just as easily, it didn’t mean that Yunho was his.

That’s what he kept telling himself, as he changed into his street clothes and began packing up his things. His heart protested, telling him that he had every right to be angry at Yunho for getting himself a girlfriend, but Min never did like listening to that part of himself. It made him sound like a child, and he hated it when he did. All he wanted to do was dream a little longer.

He just wanted to know that those random talks on the phone in the middle of the night meant something. That the walks they took by the river when they were bored were the same as the ones lover took, who confessed their feelings on the edge of the water and in each other‘s arms. That the look in Yunho’s eyes wasn’t just partiality for an employee or friend, but something more. That he was special, not because he had known him longer, but because there was something greater than fondness between them.

He ignored the tears welling into his eyes, as he shoved his clothes into his gym bag and flung it onto his shoulder. He sniffled (allergies, he told himself), as he wiped the sleeve of his jacket across his eyes. Luckily there was no school tomorrow and no work. Sundays were his days off so that he could catch up on homework and relax a little.

Changmin really didn’t want to see this place for a while.

He escaped out of the back room, making sure his locker was locked before he did. The other three were on the way to change, and Min bowed as they passed. They invited him to dinner, and he almost caved into going with them, but decided against it. He really didn’t want to hear about other people’s love lives, especially not their boss’s. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold himself together.

Seeing Chunghee cleaning up in the kitchen, he called out and waved his goodbye. He was already out the door, purposely intending on not seeing Yunho before he left, but it didn’t seem that he’d be so lucky. The older man was already leaning against his car outside, looking smug when Min met his gaze.

“Get in.”

“Oh, no. Thank you, but I-”

“It wasn’t a request.” Yunho slid into the driver seat, as Changmin looked longingly at the way to his house. He wanted to badly to just run down the sidewalk and never look back, but he had a feeling the Yunho would catch him. If not now, then later.

He sidled into the car, a bittersweet feeling coming over him. If it wasn’t for this convertible, he wouldn’t have met Jung Yunho. Whether that would be a blessing or a curse, Changmin wasn’t sure, but he doesn’t regret it either way. Love wasn’t something you could escape, and he knew that it’d make him stronger. This unfulfilled love was just one more step closer to a true one.

They drove in silence for a while, and Changmin couldn’t help but feel that he was the one making it awkward. Someone would have to be denser than metal if they couldn’t see how anxious Changmin was. He fiddled with his hands, did his best not to look at Yunho, and still somehow manage to look polite. Safe to say, it wasn’t working.

“Changmin, I wanted to ask you something,” the other said after a while.

“Of course. You can ask me anything,” he spoke with easiness, but really he had no confidence. Being with Yunho was hard for Min. He felt the need to make his heart slow down and see reason, but he never seemed to get very far with it. Still, even if it was impossible, he felt the need to at least try.

“What do you think of Miyoung?” Now Min wasn’t expecting that.

“What do you mean, ‘what do I think’? I don’t know anything about her.”

“Yeah, but what do you think of her?” Yunho asked, eyes on the road and looking as if he was concentrating too hard on it. The way he gripped the wheel showed that he was uncertain about something.

“Umm... She’s nice. Very polite, and pretty. I guess she’s all the things a guy wants in a girl.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too,” he replied, looking relieved at Changmin’s answer. However, the waiter was still curious as to why he would ask him such a question, and didn’t hesitate to ask either. If he wanted someone’s opinion, he should have ask someone who actually knew the girl, not someone who met her only a few hours before.

“She and I are friends from way back. We grew up together and I’ve kind of always liked her.” He started, chuckled to himself, and Min felt like he wasn’t ready to hear this story. “She never really considered anything more than a friend, a brother I guess, until she came back from America. She’s been studying design there and when she got returned, we clicked in a way that hasn’t ever happened before. I really think I’m falling for her, and she might be doing the same.”

Changmin wasn’t sure if his heart could take much more. Never had he heard Yunho’s voice sound so dreamy, nor had he ever seen such an absent-minded look on his face. The man he knew was strong, confident, and a little silly. No one changed that much or sounded like that unless under very certain conditions.

This man was definitely in love.

“Stop the car.”

It skidded to a halt in front of a building neither of them knew. Grabbing his stuff, Changmin swung his duffel bag onto his shoulder and pushed out of the car. He didn’t look back, even as Yunho called his name and followed him.

How could he just sit there and take it? Did he really expect Min to just lie down and absorb all of his words like a mindless zombie? Congratulate him and push him into her arms, as he felt apart in the background? This wasn’t some drama and he certainly wasn’t the selfless best friend.

Even with the sound of his breaking heart in his ears, Min kept the distance between them. He walked as fast as he could, afraid that if he ran he would fall and not be able to get back up. Min couldn’t face him like this, not now or ever at this point. There were too many things that Min couldn’t say to him, things that were start to constrict his chest and blur his vision. But, only a few moments later, Yunho’s hand was on his shoulder and pulling Changmin to face him.

“What the hell, Min? We were just talking back there! Why did you just get up and leave?” Yunho yelled, looking confused and furious. If this had been any other time, Min would have felt some sort of sympathy. Instead, all he could feel was the need to get away from the other man, right then and there.

“… I can’t do this anymore, Yunho hyung.” Min moves to his bag and pulls out his uniform. “I can’t work for you anymore. Be near you anymore. I just can’t…

“I’m sorry,” he said as he looked the other’s dumbfounded face. His throat was starting to close on him, causing the tears to return but now he had nothing to blame them on. He thought he could do it, stand by and just let him seduce anyone he wanted while they worked side-by-side each other and talked, acted, were together. He could still do it if that was all Yunho would do with those women, but not anymore. Changmin couldn’t compete with real love, not if he wasn’t on the receiving end of it.

“But… why, Changmin? I thought- We’re supposed to be friends…”

“And we are,” he said, putting some space between them. He couldn’t have Yunho trying to touch him, not when he’s trying to do the right thing. He wouldn’t be able to say no if the older man held him, wiped away the trails of salt on his cheeks, and told him that it would get better. Because all of those things would be lies. That embrace, those gestures, those words, none of those things would fix his heart. Unless Min suddenly fell out of love, nothing was going to be better. Life wasn’t that easy.

“I love you, Yunho,” he choked on the bitter laugh, as he swallowed a few tears. They tasted sweet to him, a reminder of why he was doing this. “I don’t know when or why or how it happened, but I do. I know it sounds crazy ’cause we’ve only known each other for seven months, but that doesn’t matter to me.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t work for you anymore. Thank you so much for taking care of me. I’m sorry for all the times I made you angry and frustrated and for hurting you. I hope you’ll forgive me one day for not telling you, but I thought I could do it. I thought I could love you without it being requited, but I can’t, I’m not strong enough. I’m just not strong enough…”

Sobs wracked Changmin’s body, his shoulders shaking as he tried to stop his tears from coming. But it was futile. He didn’t have the strength to make himself stop, didn’t have the strength to do anything when it came down to it, and instead just sunk to his knees.

He was too tired to do much else but blink away the few drops of water on his lashes, barely registering the arms that enveloped him. But when he did, he felt his eyes close and allowed himself to fall into this last bit of kindness. As superficial as if may be, he wanted this ending, even if it was a sad one. This was their last memory, something to keep him warm at night and get him through the long school days.

Even if it’s one-sided, maybe just this much would be okay.





Three months have passed since then. The day after that confession, Changmin was in his room and had woken up in his bed. His clothes from the night before were still on and his gym bag was tucked safely in the corner, proving that their goodbye certainly wasn‘t a dream. Besides those things, nothing else had changed except the heaviness in his heart.

He received various text messages from Junsu, Yoochun, and Jaejoong, who were asking him why he quit and to forget whatever Yunho had said and that they all needed him back. If it was easy to toss away one’s emotions, then Changmin would have easily handed them over to whoever wanted them. Not just for his broken heart, but also for the friends he had made, who he had grown to love like the dysfunctional family members that they were.

Everything settled down after the first week after his resignation. He found a new job at a bookstore, which was very appealing after finding he had more free time for his schoolwork. He met up with his friends every week, and they caught up on everything. Teasing Junsu, laughing with Yoochun, being fed by Jae, it became very normal and felt as if he had never left. Even the old manager would come occasionally, telling Min about the tricks of the trade when it came to making coffee. Those were the times when he wished he hadn’t quit and just let his feelings die out on their own, even if he knew they would never completely leave.

There were no messages from Yunho.

He later found out from the others that he had reached his goal, but had decided to continue managing Rising Gods. He was still as strict as ever, but seemed less friendly once Min left. The youngest told them it was just him being sad about his resignation, waving it off as normal behavior. And when Min asked about Miyoung, the others shrugged, saying that they hadn’t heard from her since the first (and last) time she had visited.

Min wondered about what had happened to that love story. Had Yunho gotten her a ring and proposed to her on the river they used to walk by? Or did he set up the café just for them and have a private meal before he popped the question? Or did he just ask her, as they sat at the counter and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee?

It probably wasn’t normal to fantasize about other people’s love stories, so he left it as a ‘to be continued’. If it worked out, he would accept it and be happy for them. Maybe not in front of them, but from afar, where he could watch with a shaking heart and a watery smile.

As it was always meant to be.





Standing at the register, Changmin was doing his homework on a particularly slow day. He flipped through his book, looking for formulas and definitions for his chemistry homework. He wanted a degree in broadcasting. How the hell was the periodic table going to help him with that? Grumbling, he didn’t notice anyone approach until a piece of paper slipped onto his book.

Would you like to go to out for coffee sometime? I know a good place.

Taking in the familiar scribble, Changmin’s eyes widened as he stared up at a very familiar face. The hand that the other offered was enough, as he squeezed the younger man’s and tilted his face towards his own for their second kiss.

But this time around, the feelings were mutual.