I Can Only Be With Him If I'm Thin - part 3

Title: I can only be with him if I'm thin

Author : attentionseekin
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG13
Summary: Why do they keep trying to feed me?
Warnings: Anorexia nervosa..? (If that’s a warning…?)


Disclaimer : I own nothing!! Plot and story belongs toattentionseekin
                  @ http://attentionseekin.livejournal.com/10873.html . I Just want to shared it at all!!


[Chapter 3]

Yunho knocked on the door to their bedroom, knowing that Changmin was still in there. Yunho was a little scared in case they ended up arguing, but he thought positive before slowly opening the door. When Yunho opened the door and looked in, he could see Changmin bobbing his head to the loud music blasting from his headphones.

Yunho wanted to scold him, but thought about negative side effects before he went to sit on the bed.

Changmin pretended he didn’t feel the bed dip and carried on keeping in time to the music. This annoyed Yunho, as he was only there to try and make peace with the latter, and Changmin was acting like a child. Yunho tried tapping Changmin’s leg, but still this went unnoticed by Changmin and so Yunho lent up and pulled the headphones right off Changmin’s head throwing them across the room.

“Hey, what was that for, you jerk-” Changmin started before Yunho cut him off with a kiss.

The kiss was harsh and Changmin could feel Yunho’s emotions as the elder man bit on his lips until Changmin caved and opened his mouth. Before Changmin could respond to the kiss Yunho bit down on Changmin’s tongue, punishing him. Yunho’s hands began to roam down Changmin body. Changmin moaned into the kiss in protest. After a while Yunho licked at Changmin’s tongue in apology for the bite. Letting Changmin relax, Yunho stroked his neck, shoulders, chest. Changmin mewled, leaning into Yunho when his hands stopped, trying to latch onto Yunho, but Yunho just held him. He slowly slid his tongue against Changmin’s tongue, then licked the roof of Changmin’s mouth, before ending with another kiss; this time softly at the side of Changmin’s mouth.

“I missed you~” Changmin mumbled minutes after they had laid down next to each other in silence, as he wrapped himself more closely in Yunho’s arms, rubbing his cheek against anything on Yunho’s body.

Yunho just held on tighter wanting to stay still like that forever; but he knew he needed to talk to Changmin. He just hoped that Changmin wouldn’t get too upset with him again. He also hoped that he wouldn’t get too upset, as that wouldn’t help matters get any better.

“Changmin, we need to talk” Yunho started.

Changmin sighed before nodding, sitting himself up in Yunho’s lap, before leaning over again, until he

was laying comfortably on Yunho with legs either side of Yunho’s body. Changmin sighed happily as Yunho brought his arms up and found his hand on Changmin’s waist, stroking up and down.

“I sorry Yunnie” Changmin spoke into the fabric of Yunho's clothes.

“For what exactly?” Yunho asked rubbing his hands up changmin's back.

“I didn't mean to upset you yesterday. I know what happened to your sister, and I know that is was so

hard for you to take her death, but yunnie... I promise I won't die” Changmin answered Yunho sighing sadly at the end.

Yunho sighed knowing this was a losing battle on his part “OK. But I swear, the minute I see ribs that's it... I’ll put you in a rehabilitation centre before you can even say the word diet”

“Alright...” Changmin whispered, thanking Buddha that he had such an understanding boyfriend.

They laid there for a minute until Changmin’s belly rumbled.

“Was that you or me?” Yunho joked as he smiled up at Changmin who was trying to hide his face in the folds of Yunho’s shirt.

Changmin just shrugged his shoulders, but a few seconds later the noise repeated. Changmin could feel his cheeks flame even more than before and knew that if he didn’t get up and eat soon, he would make Yunho angry at him again. Feeling Changmin’s discomfort Yunho sat up, causing Changmin to end up sitting in his lap.

“I think that was me this time… What do you say, we both get something to eat?” Yunho tempted.

Changmin worried his lip for a while thinking of the consequence of eating, but before he could obsess about it Yunho stopped his trail of thought.

“I actually feel for a s-salad, what about you?” Yunho offered, stumbling over his words a little.

Changmin knew that Yunho hated salad; in fact he hated most dishes without meat; and the fact that Yunho was willing to eat salad to make Changmin feel better made Changmin’s heart swell with happiness, but also made him feel guilty.

“L-Let’s order a... P-pizza, extra meat!” Changmin replied.

Yunho turned his head to the side, confused. Changmin just patted his head, heading out of the bedroom; Yunho following behind him. Before he got to the door, Yunho pulled Changmin into another hug.

'If I only eat 2 slices, that would probably be around 600 calories... right” Changmin thought to himself biting his lip.

Changmin had a wavy smile as he hugged Yunho back; glad their argument was behind them… mostly.

“You are beautiful, and I love you just as you are… Anyone who thinks you are anything but beautiful and sexy is either blind or stupid” Yunho spoke into Changmin neck, kissing along Changmin jaw before pulling back.

As they walked into the sitting room, they both saw Jaejoong had finished putting the fan mail into piles.

“Everything good again?” Jaejoong asked without looking up at the two.

“Meat feast pizza for dinner~” Yunho sighed in happiness as he made his way over to the phone.

Yoochun and Junsu came out of the kitchen and Yoochun went to seat himself behind Jaejoong, resting his head on Jaejoong’s back.

“Stop stealing my Chunnie, Su; I just might start to get jealous” Jaejoong joked as he rearranged himself so he was snuggling back with Yoochun on the floor.

“You guys are each others soulmate… what could I do?” Junsu said sarcastically, before asking “or is there something I could do??” smirking softly.

Jaejoong scowled and huddled closer to Yoochun; Yoochun ignored the two and looked at the piles of letters. “So I'm guessing it’s you with the biggest pile again?” he commented as he mentally measured the height of each pile.

“Surprisingly no…” Jaejoong replied as though even he was in shock.

Yunho looked at the tallest pile and read name on top of the envelope “Changmin?!” Yunho read in surprise.

“Huh? Me? Wait a sec- YAH! Why are you so surprised?” Changmin asked punching Yunho’s arm before swatting down to the pile and looking for himself.

Jaejoong was dramatically huffing and Junsu was trying not to laugh at him. Changmin opened the first letter, and saw it was a fan letter form a Japanese fan. Reading the letter, he picked up a few in his hand and went to sit down on a chair.

“Let me help you read some Minnie ah~” Jaejoong asked adding in his signature pout at the end. Changmin just replied “No~” and stuck his tongue out at his pouting hyung before he opened another. The second post was from a Korean fan, and Changmin quickly read the love confession and moved onto the next.

Changmin's next letter was enveloped in a black thick envelope; Changmin opened it and took out the letter only to gasp in horror.

For the letter was in fact a poster of a fat Changmin and a slim Changmin wearing a red dress, accompanied by Yunho in the middle. To Changmin’s eyes, on the picture, it looked as though Yunho was looking at the fat Changmin in disgust.

Changmin looked around the room, and inwardly sighed. Luckily the other band members hadn’t heard him make a noise. Changmin felt the feelings from this morning start to creep back. ‘Maybe this is just a joke’ Changmin thought to himself as he turned the picture over to read the writing on the back.

Changmin was hurt and tried to ignore it as he opened another piece of mail, only to be confronted with a similar message

And another....

The next post thankfully wasn’t a poster pointing his imperfection.; however, it explained them in writing..

Changmin swallowed hard as he picked up the rest of the letters and went into the bedroom. Yunho nor the rest of the group noticed his disappearance, and Changmin found the space to lay out all the hate mail he had received in all of the 57 envelopes he had received; only 12 of them were actual fan letters. In all the others they insulted him, and cursed him. He’d even gotta a few letters from angry YunChun fans all saying the same thing, most of the pictures were of him fat… in a few he was even PREGNANT.

‘Have I gained that much weight?

As Changmin pondered, a girl living two blocks away from the Dong Bang residence, was giggling manically to herself. Coming away from the window, she looked at the designs of her second batch, pressing the print button. She then signed into her account on yunhooppscandal.co.kr and uploaded the photoshopped picture, writing in the caption. She continued to print the posters she had made, making sure to write different messages each time. She then took a few envelopes and put a poster in each.

"I'll send these tomorrow" she whispered in English.

She went into back to the window and looked into her telescope again to see a small image of Changmin taking off his top and looking at the mirror. From the angle she was at, she could see exactly what he was doing but judging by his arms, the girl reckoned he was pulling at his belly to check his fat.

The girl was correct.

“Changmin! The pizza is here!” Changmin could hear Yunho joyful voice as he heard the bell to their door ring. Changmin felt physically sick.

‘Hundreds of letters telling me I'm fat and Yunho’s deceives me into thinking I look OK…’ Changmin mumbled poking his belly yet again….

'If he won’t let me diet, I’ll just have to do it in secret…' Changmin thought to himself.

Hiding the letters underneath the bed, he quickly slipped into bed and pretended to sleep.

Yunho came in to check on him, as he hadn't come to the dining room; seeing Changmin in bed, Yunho sighed and tucked him in, briefly brushing his lips against Changmin's.

As Yunho left the room, he heard him call to Jaejoong to save him some pizza as he was asleep.

Changmin smiled a little as he thought to himself.

'I just saved my waistline from 600 calories'

to be continued...