Author : venetianskies ( http://venetianskies.livejournal.com/1120.html )
Pairings : Yunho/Changmin,
Rating : PG-13
Disclaimer : Story and plot belongs to venetianskies ( http://venetianskies.livejournal.com/1120.html ) I just only wants to collect and shared it. i own nothing.
Changmin can't sleep without Yunho around
.001
Changmin wakes up in the middle of the night. Breathing heavily, covered in sweat he sits up, shuffles the sheets off of himself and blinks as his brain slowly registers the fact that he's alone. He rubs his sleepy, tear-swollen eyes and sighs out loud. He can't really remember when he became so dependant on Yunho's presence at night.
It might've been during the time he was recovering from an illness and having vivid nightmares that kept him awake for days afterwards. Nothing had helped, not until Yunho had finally gotten enough, crawled into the bed next to him and told him to go to sleep, his voice deep and strong, stern but also gentle. Changmin never forgot about the shivers running through his body as Yunho closed his arms around the younger man.
Changmin remembers how his heart had - in reality - skipped a beat or maybe two when it had felt like an eternity. The warmth spreading around his body, Yunho's hands drawing calming circles on his skin and whispering, telling he'd always be there for him; the choking feeling. Changmin remembers all of it, also the small things he'd rather leave in the past.
Like the fact he had gotten a little too caught up on feeling, and kissed Yunho without a warning. He recalls Yunho's shock-widened eyes, his slightly parted lips and the way he turns his head away, ashamed. He can still feel his heart breaking and tears forming in his eyes when he sees that look in Yunho's eyes every now and then.
Yunho never left his side that night, though. And neither did he any of the following nights.
Yunho, Changmin mouths and wraps his arms tightly around himself, imagining Yunho's strong arms instead of his own. Of course Yunho couldn't be there for him always. As a leader, he had his hands full of work and a maknae sobbing over a bad dream certainly didn't fit in the pattern.
Changmin wanders off to the bathroom and tries to calm down, splashing a few handfuls of water against his face. He looks into the mirror and sees his miserably skinny figure. Dark, damp hair is pretty much glued onto his temples and forehead, his bruised lips really standing out against his pale skin. Yep, definitely not the most admirable side of him.
He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a quiet sigh.
.002
Changmin rolls over in his sleep. He's throwing his head from side to side, whining and mouthing incoherent words. Hands fisting the sheets and the sweat-stained shirt adhering to his upper body, he nearly kicks an unconscious Yunho out of the bed.
Dumbfounded, Yunho grabs Changmin's shoulders and tries calling his name. He can see Changmin's eyes vigorously moving behind the eyelids and tries again, only louder this time. Yunho still gets no response and the younger man's desperate attempt of grasping Yunho's hair makes him worry even more. He bites his bottom lip and tightening his grip, shakes Changmin oh-not-so-gently.
He can only imagine what Changmin is dreaming of and judging by his facial expressions, it can't be anything pretty. "Changmin. Changmin, wake up."
Changmin's eyes flash open with a following gasp. Yunho takes Changmin's hands and squeezes them, smiling reassuringly and lets their hands land onto his lap. Changmin stares at their laced fingers, his heart still beating faster than ever, and blinks. Once, twice, ten times. Yunho squeezes harder, pondering on how to get Changmin back to the world of living.
He flicks a stray hair behind Changmin's ear and pulls the younger man closer.
"Hyun... Yun... Yunho?" Changmin stutters, pulling on the hem of Yunho's shirt. Yunho smiles and gently nudges his nose against Changmin's warm temple.
"Yeah, it's me, you dumbass", Yunho mumbles into his friend's hair, teasingly. He doesn't say anything else, though, not wanting to put any more pressure on the youngest. Changmin shivers, burying his face into Yunho's shoulder and closes his eyes, trying to fight back the tears burning in his eyes.
Yunho feels his shirt slowly getting wetter and wetter around the shoulder area and he holds on tight, tighter than he ever would if it was just about anyone else.
.003
Jaejoong sighs, steadying himself against Yoochun's right side on the sofa. He whispers into the other man's ear and starts playing with Yoochun's fingers. Yoochun lifts Jaejoong's chin with his index finger and hums quietly into the kiss as their soft lips meet.
Changmin thinks he shouldn't be watching them, not even from the corner of his eyes, but for some reason he just can't bring himself to turn his gaze away. There's something mesmerizing about the two of them: palms tenderly brushing against one another, fingers tangling together, muffled giggles and extraordinarily dazzling smiles, glowing eyes. Changmin can feel his heart clenching at the sight and he slowly works himself up from the chair, putting his book and glasses down. A sad smile cracks on his face, he doesn't belong in here.
Yoochun pulls, reluctantly, apart from the older man landing small open-mouthed kisses on his neck and says good night. Changmin barely nods and walks away, leaving the couple alone.
He closes the door behind his back, pressing himself against it and allowing his body to slide down to the floor. His eyes are burning, emotions stemming from deep inside of him. It hurts, it hurts so bad he wants to pour it all out along with his tears.
Changmin hates himself for becoming so weak. How could something so trivial be such a big part of his life, how could it affect him so much? He buries his head into his hands, letting the ache in his heart take over his mind and just cries. Let it all out, he whispers, his voice hoarse and broken, cry it all out, no one will ever know.
Yoochun and Jaejoong exchange a worried look, squeezing each other's hands. Lately, Changmin's been crying awfully lot - especially around them - and silent, barely audible sobs muted by hands or a pillow coming from his bedroom aren't that unusual. Jaejoong nods and gets up from his spot. He makes an eye contact with Yoochun and places a finger on his lips.
"I'll go find Yunho", he whispers. Yoochun taps his foot impatiently, nodding and folding his arms. His eyebrows knit together and he shakes his head.
.004
Changmin wakes up with a loud gasp, his hands grasping the sheets as if his whole life depended on it. He breathes heavily, trying to even his heart beat and his thoughts. He's alone, and the room around him is unlit. He has nothing to be afraid of, he knows that, but being in the seemingly odd room with practically not a single piece of clothing gives him a suffocating feeling.
The shadows moving on the ceiling and walls start getting shapes and are coming to life. Changmin sits up on the bed and covers his eyes for a moment. Don't let your imagination do tricks on you again, he rants mentally and rubs on his temples, trying to make the dull pain go away and leave him alone again.
Little by little he starts to remember. He remembers breaking into tears before everything went black during a performance last night. He smacks himself on the head and lets his body fall back to the sheets. Yunho, the magnificent leader he was, had called their manager shortly afterwards and asked for a small vacation for all of them, appealing to Changmin losing his consciousness. Changmin remembers Yunho nursing him at the same time, sometimes smoothing his hair and sometimes playing with his fingers, thinking he was still out cold.
A constrained smile spreads on his lips and he closes his eyes. Yunho.
He fumbles with the sheets for a second, then grabbing the closest shirt to cover his body with and opened the door. He could barely keep his eyes open and the light was blinding him. He had overheard Yunho talking about planning their next tour with Jaejoong and Junsu, so he headed for the living room, assuming they had meant tonight.
"Changmin-ah, why are you up?" Yunho's voice comes out as a whisper after noticing the tall figure standing on the door, and motions the younger man to come closer. Changmin wraps his arms around Yunho's neck and rests his head on top of Yunho's.
"You weren't there, couldn't sleep", he mumbles, closing his eyes and sighing a little annoyed as he feels Yunho brushing his arms off his shoulders. Yunho turns around to face him and pulls him into a gentle hug and innocently kisses his eyelids shortly after.
"I'm sorry, this really shouldn't take much longer so just go to bed, 'kay? I'll be right there."
Changmin mewls in pleasure, nuzzling his head into the crook of Yunho's neck, as Yunho's palms rub soothingly on his back and Yunho can't help but melt at the sight of his younger bandmate. He scrubs Changmin behind the ear and smiles as soft snores start coming from his lap. He doesn't have the heart to wake Changmin up so he just let's him be.
Yunho keeps singing in a toned-down voice and tracing Changmin's strong features with his fingers until Yoochun comes back from the kitchen. Yoochun clears his throat loudly and manages to catch the older man off guard.
"Bambi followed me", Yunho whispers after regaining his composure, still petting Changmin's hair, "said he couldn't sleep." Yoochun sighs and sits down beside them. He keeps wondering why they're still both running away from their feelings when there's nothing left to clear.
.005
The first kiss is cautious, like testing the waters. Changmin makes a mental note of the tiny hint of vanilla flavour on Yunho's lips and winces slightly at the contact when Yunho's fingers curl behind his neck to uphold the back of his head. There are no attachments involved, no obligations, they can still call it a quit if they want.
The second one is a little bolder. Changmin feels his heart fluttering when Yunho suddenly snatches a kiss off of his lips in the heat of a night club. Yunho sees an unknown woman in a tiny, skintight black dress, trying to corner Changmin and feels a sudden tremor of jealousy and anger running through his body. He makes his way past the mass consisting of hot, sweating bodies fusing together. He grabs Changmin by the wrist and draws him farther from the woman. Changmin's puzzled expression and wet strands of hair gluing onto his temples cause Yunho unconsciously to lick his lips before pulling him into a deep, hard kiss against the wall.
The third time is nothing special. It could easily have been an accident but Changmin insists on it being intentional. Changmin's lying on a sofa with a book mere inches away from his face. Yunho waltzes across the room with Yoochun and spots him, letting go of Yoochun's hands. He leans over and calls Changmin's name, like a child calling one's mother. Changmin puts the book away and heaves a sigh, and Yunho accidentally trips and his lips land on Changmin's. There's that little, barely noticeable hint of vanilla on his lips again.
The fourth time, Yunho finally casts the magic words. I think I'm in love with you, he breathes into Changmin's ear when they're watching a movie with the other three. Changmin's heart feels like leaping out of his throat but he manages to keep himself seemingly calm.
Yoochun smiles his omniscient smile, elbowing Jaejoong and Junsu to the point where both of them want nothing more than to beat him up. Changmin laces his fingers with Yunho and rests his head against his shoulder. I think I love you, too, he whispers and closes his mouth around the very spot where Yunho's neck met his shoulder. Yep, Changmin thinks, definitely feels right.
.006
For the first time in months, Changmin sleeps through the whole night without waking up in the middle of the night, screaming or sweating. He opens his eyes to find Yunho spooning him, his strong arms wrapped around Changmin's torso tightly. He smiles and closes his eyes again, remembering to have once told Yunho to wake him up when the first August rain would hit the ground. Changmin shuffles around and finds himself captivated by Yunho's features. His nose, his strong chin and neck-line.
He sighs and blows a soft breeze of air into Yunho's face. "Hey, wake up."
Yunho crinkles his nose, grunts and reluctantly opens his eyes. Changmin tugs a few strands behind his ear and smiles his mismatched smile. "Still remember what I told you about the August rain?" he asks, drawing an invisible line from Yunho's chin to his chest.
Yunho's eyebrows knit together as if he tried really hard to remember. Changmin gives him an amused smile and kisses his forehead. "I told you to wake me up when the first rain of August would hit the window", he says, tracing Yunho's arm muscles with his fingers, "You were asleep, though, so I decided to wake you up instead."
Yunho's lips crack a smile and it soon turns into soft chuckling. He brushes his hand against Changmin's cheek and places a wet kiss on his Adam's apple. A desperate whimper escapes Changmin's lips as Yunho slips a leg between his thighs. He buries his face into Yunho's hair and chants his name over and over, shivering slightly at the friction of hungry lips and hot breath caressing his skin.
They stay in bed for the rest of the day; talking, teasing, kissing, touching, exploring each other.
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