Title: I Got You
Author: yuxo ( http://community.livejournal.com/minho_yongwonhi/107763.html#cutid1 )
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: HoMin
Summary: The Mirotic music video happens.
Disclaimer : All plot and story belongs to yuxo ( http://community.livejournal.com/minho_yongwonhi/107763.html#cutid1 )
I discovered that I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.
---
They chalk it up to years of frustration layered one upon another, the starvation of human contact and excitement and spontaneous decisions without worry of consequence.
The first kiss happens and it doesn’t feel like fireworks, but it doesn’t feel wrong—so the second kiss happens, then a third, then a hundredth.
And then somewhere along the way, Changmin falls in love.
That, he finds, he can’t chalk up to anything.
---
Mondays are the worst days of the week.
The week is a blur of activity and chaos and too little sleep until Friday comes.
Fridays are usually the days Changmin can catch Yunho’s wrist as he’s passing by in the hall before bed.
The weekend doesn’t matter. He’s always too fixated on Friday.
---
Changmin’s not quite sure how to feel when Mirotic’s presented to all of them.
Yoochun looks far too amused for his own good.
“Heh,” he says after the meeting’s over and they all get to go home.
“What?”
“You’re going to be wet.”
Changmin glares. “Shut up, Yoochun.”
“Now, now,” Jaejoong pacifies, not looking up from the watch he’s fiddling with in his hands. “Yoochun-ah, this is so broken. Just get a new one.”
“Minnie will be wet!” Yoochun pouts.
“Yes,” Jaejoong says patiently, “he will be wet. You know, with water.”
“Oh god,” Changmin sighs. There’s nothing for him to do in the kitchen so he wanders to his and Junsu’s bedroom to surf the net. Is stupidity contagious?
“Why are you so fixated on him being wet?” he hears Junsu ask Yoochun and rolls his eyes again before shutting the door.
He doesn’t hear Yoochun say: because I want to see Leader-sshi get jealous of water.
---
He’s always just kind of assumed that if you ignore something long enough, it will go away. It works with most problems, and since this problem concerns his feelings which aren’t even a physical thing, he doesn’t know why he can’t get rid of it.
A part of him is surprised that Yunho’s so exclusive about him.
But most of him is just in denial about how inexplicably happy and relieved he is that Yunho doesn’t kiss Jaejoong as they file out of a dressing room, doesn’t crawl into Yoochun’s bed on Friday nights, doesn’t stare at Junsu for too long for no reason at all.
---
Yunho thinks he must be losing his mind. Then he knows he must be losing his mind when his entire week starts revolving around Friday nights and what they always bring.
He wishes it was just about the sex.
Something frightening grows larger and larger in his chest as the days pass, when he sees Changmin look at him too softly, and it’s terrifying, how his body tenses and he wants to run away until this life is just a story, until his fingers stop shaking with desire.
It scares him breathless when he sits down on his bed one night and can’t fall asleep until he cuddles a pillow in his arms and inhales Changmin’s scent linger in the pillowcase.
---
“I love you,” Yunho says.
The mirror stares back at him and his face flushes. The words bounce off flat surfaces in the bathroom and echo in his ears, but they don’t sound or feel hollow.
---
Instead of Jaejoong, Yunho goes to Yoochun for advice; Jaejoong’s his best friend and all, but Yoochun just understands and listens and empathizes when it comes to things like this.
“…I see,” Yoochun says. “And…why are you so…troubled?”
Yunho grips his hair in his hands and closes his eyes with a grimace on his face. “It wasn’t…it isn’t supposed to be anything. We were just…for the sake of convenience and…Yoochun-ah, there are still so many things I want and need to do with my life, and I don’t know how this can be what I’m supposed to be doing, and-”
“Does it feel wrong to you?” Yoochun asks, voice cold. Yunho looks up in guilt and exhaustion and shakes his head slowly. “No, you think it’s right?”
“I don’t know,” Yunho whispers.
Yoochun turns away, face unreadable. “I won’t have you hurting him, hyung.”
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Then don’t.”
“Tell me what I’m supposed to do, Yoochun-ah.”
“I don’t know. You love him, right?”
Yunho seems to recoil from the words and starts to shake his head again. “I don’t-”
“You can lie to yourself, but don’t you ever lie to me about Changmin again.”
“…Yeah.”
“Sorry, hyung,” Yoochun shrugs, pulling at the two long strands of hair scratching at his cheek, “I don’t know what to tell you. I do know that if he loved me the way…he…loves…uh…”
“What?” Yunho asks, eyes unbelievably wide, matching the look on Yoochun’s face.
“Uh…”
“Yoochun! What!?”
“…Uh…” Yoochun stammers, looking around for help, or an exit, or a rewind button, or a gun to shoot himself with.
“You…”
“I need…to…go…”
“…Yoochun-ah-”
“I hope you figure it out.” Yoochun gives a resolute nod and just about runs out of the room.
Yunho remains sitting on the bed, heart thumping wildly in his chest, fear growing larger as each second ticks by. If what Yoochun said was true...
---
“Micky…” Changmin says quietly, pulling Yoochun into his room as the older man was running past in the hallway.
“Uh,” Yoochun says, looking guilty.
“I think I might love Yunho-hyung. What should I do?”
Yoochun chokes on his saliva, starts hacking violently and collapses against the door, hitting his chest at random.
Changmin frowns. “Are you going to die from the news? Sheesh.”
“N-no,” Yoochun breathes. “Just uh…I don’t know, Minnie. I can’t help you. I really can’t.”
“But-”
“I think you need to talk to him.” The older man pulls Changmin into a loose hug and is struck once again by surprise when his face presses against Changmin’s collarbone unless he tilts his head up. How he can feel how much wider the youngest’s back is in a hug compared to the thin little thing he used to comfort during their first year together. “I think…” he says softly, “I think you’d be surprised.”
“But there are so many things he wants that I can’t give him,” Changmin answers. His voice isn’t bitter or spiteful; just sad. “And I think he deserves all those things I can’t give him more than anything else.”
“Like I said,” Yoochun murmurs, patting Changmin’s back, “you’d be surprised how much people are willing to sacrifice.”
“For what?”
“It wouldn’t be right for you to hear it from me.”
---
Changmin can feel Yunho’s eyes on him all day as they shoot the music video.
“Woooo!” Yoochun catcalls in the middle, “I can see how wet you are, Changmin-ah!”
There is loud laughter from the people who catch what that implies and confused looks from the people who don’t.
Yunho accidentally trips into Yoochun after the comment is made to hand Changmin a towel, resolutely looking away from the younger man. That’s why he misses Changmin’s eyes fixed on the back of his head, searching for an answer to a question he himself is wondering.
---
He’s backed up against the wall, breathing laboured as he tries to make it as quiet as possible, eyes trained helplessly on red lips. When a tongue darts out to wet them, Changmin has to fist his hands at his thighs to refrain from grabbing the older man.
Yunho leans in closer even though they’re already thigh to thigh, hip to hip, chest to chest, and closes the distance until they’re mouth to mouth—and this time, there are fireworks.
“Got you under my skin,” Yunho pulls back to breathe, twisting and pressing Changmin’s wrists against the wall. His eyes are dark and he feels the shiver course down Changmin’s body and into his own.
“Yunho-sshi!” they both hear staff members calling. “Your scene is next!”
Changmin can feel the imprint of Yunho’s body against his own and the taste of Yunho’s mouth long after his hyung has left. He licks his lips and tries to get the taste back. Mirotic plays maddeningly in the back of his head.
---
Yunho knows something is up as soon as he answers the knock on his bedroom door and it’s Changmin.
It’s Sunday night.
---
When a needy whimper escapes Changmin’s lips, Yunho almost loses his mind.
Instead, he presses harder into the body displayed before him, groaning into the air, desperate to settle all of himself in the other man’s heat. He wants to cover that body with his own, possess it unfairly until the rest of the world falls away so he’ll have the right to claim it as his forever, have Changmin look at him and no one else—and the feeling’s so strong that he pretty much drags Changmin’s body onto the rest of his length.
Changmin’s chest is heaving up and down like he’s just run a hundred laps, hands moving restlessly on Yunho’s thighs and forearms. He lets loose a choked moan, begging unintelligibly, toes curling and uncurling and teeth going at his lower lip with a vengeance.
“Changmin,” Yunho breathes. His expression looks to be one of pain.
Changmin whines deep in his throat and hooks fingernails into Yunho’s arms. “Yunho, move, please move, I can’t take this.”
Right before he thrusts, Yunho finds himself leaning down to press his skin right against Changmin’s, elbows going to either side of his lover’s head. He’s still too coherent to be brave enough to do anything but press a sliding kiss to Changmin’s ear and neck, pulling his hips back and thrusting as deeply as he can.
If the hoarse cry of pleasure wasn’t enough to tell him it was good, the way Changmin arches under him speaks loudly enough.
Somehow, he had learned this body without trying. He knows where all of Changmin’s sensitive spots are, how to exploit them, how to drive the younger man stark raving mad with bliss.
Changmin squirms under him and slides his hands up and down Yunho’s back. “Hurry, please, more, faster!” He wants it to last, being this close to his hyung, but he doesn’t know how to make the aching need go away without forcing the older man to go faster.
Yunho doesn’t waste time because they never had time to begin with—he pulls out and thrusts in harshly, but not fast. He tries to make the thrusts as deep as he can, wanting, needing to be as close to Changmin as physically possible.
His stomach slides against Changmin’s, chests pressed together, and Changmin scratches at Yunho’s back with a hiss, head thrown back in pleasure.
“More,” Changmin moans.
Yunho gives him more.
He pushes himself forward again and again, drinking in and memorizing the way Changmin moans and writhes against his body, drunk off enjoyment and warmth.
It’s suffocating, Changmin finds, how good it always feels.
“Yunho, Yunho!” He chants unconsciously, marking the older man’s back with red scratches left from his short nails. “F-faster, please-”
Yunho moans at the words and starts jerking his hips faster, cheek pressed against the youngest’s. There’s fire in his arteries and love in his veins and the combination is indescribable.
Changmin forgets about trying to mute the noises he’s making. He nearly screams as Yunho throws rhythm to the wind and starts pounding into him, cock sliding in to the base until Changmin can feel every fucking thing, so deeply that it’s hard to think at all. It’s hard to understand how he can feel so full and warm everywhere, how it feels better than anything to know that Yunho’s inside of him as much as he can be.
Yunho feels himself losing his grip as their bodies slide together, sweat sticking hair to his temples. With a barely restrained moan, Yunho bites Changmin’s shoulder, earning him a startled yelp, and lifts his head for a kiss.
He almost comes as Changmin immediately whimpers into his mouth, panting stray words between noisy breaths.
The bed protests loudly when Yunho reacts to the kiss and starts thrusting as fast and hard as he can. Changmin’s higher and higher pitched moans cover the creaking noises quite effectively.
“Yunho, please, I’m so close, god, Yunho!”
Yunho kisses him again.
There’s something too erotic about the way Changmin orgasms. It isn’t just the feeling of come splattering between the bodies or how tightly Changmin’s hot passage constricts around his cock.
It’s the way his eyes open just enough for Yunho to stare into and stop breathing at the sight of the emotions making them so dark. The way his nails rake up the older man’s back and almost draw blood. The way he forces their mouths together and moans, whimpers, shouts, everything he can to vocalize his pleasure and have Yunho know damn well how he feels.
“Yunho, I-” Changmin chokes out, still reckless enough from orgasm to say the words.
“Changmin!” Yunho breathes, cutting the younger off, crushing their lips together as he comes in harsh waves, whimpering into Changmin’s mouth. He lets his hips jerk until he’s done and then settles in as deeply as he can, swallowing the moans that Changmin gives him at the feeling of come slicking his insides.
Changmin lets Yunho do what he wants to, lets a hot tongue slide against his own. It isn’t until he actually sees spots that he pushes Yunho away and throws his head back to gasp and force air into his lungs again.
Yunho’s panting just as hard, forehead resting against Changmin’s collarbone, breathing in Changmin’s scent and feeling sweat slide down his back. The moment is thick and silent save for the sound of their harsh breathing, Changmin’s hands still on his back.
Of course, when Changmin manages to pull himself together again, Yunho can’t find a reason to stay where he is. With a low groan, Yunho shifts his hips back to pull out, sitting back on his heels.
“…Hyung,” Changmin says after a long moment of silence, voice still slightly hoarse.
“Yeah,” Yunho answers, hand resting on Changmin’s upper thigh.
“Maybe we should stop this.”
This time, the silence is thoroughly awkward and painful.
Yunho swallows the sudden panic and bile trying to claw up his throat and swallows roughly. “If…if that’s what you wan-”
“Hyun- Yunho,” Changmin breathes, clenching his teeth, clenching his hand into a fist before grabbing onto Yunho’s wrist. “Just tell me. What am I to you?”
Everything, Yunho thinks. “I…” he says instead.
“If I told you I love you, would that change your answer at all?”
Yunho stares down at an angry face in shock.
“Well?”
He wonders if this is some sort of trick question. Then Changmin’s grip on his wrist loosens and the younger man turns to get up and get off the bed and Yunho snaps.
“Don’t go-”
“I’m tired of this!” Changmin hisses in his face, but he stays on the bed, Yunho hovering dangerously close above him. “I don’t know what you want from me. Why do you kiss me like that? Why do you kiss me at all!? If all you want is a quick fuck then just tell m-”
Yunho crushes their lips together again and growls with anger and frustration. The feelings aren’t coming across properly and he’s so pissed at Changmin, though mostly at himself, arms crossing around Changmin’s back and pulling the younger man against him. He doesn’t intend on letting go but Changmin’s fighting him, pushing him away with strength Yunho is still startled to feel.
“This isn’t what I want,” Changmin says, firm and quiet, sliding off the bed and wobbling for a second as come trails down the inside of his thighs.
There is one moment of extreme clarity for Yunho: if he doesn’t do this now, he’s not going to get another chance to. There are no more chances. No more kisses beyond this point if the wrong decision is made, no more hugs, no more smiles, no more anything.
“You stupid bastard,” he laughs without humor, scrambling off the bed and practically grabbing Changmin around the shoulders.
“Yun-”
“Shut up,” Yunho growls, shoving Changmin hard against the bedroom wall. He hears the younger man gasp at the coldness hitting his back but he doesn’t care, just leans in closer until he’s got his lover caged under his body again. “What do you know?” he asks, and brings his mouth to Changmin’s again, forcing the kiss to happen.
Changmin wants to fight it and he just, fucking, can’t. A moan’s pulled unwilling from his lips and he melts into the kiss anyway, fingers clenched desperately in Yunho’s hair, trying to pull him closer.
The kiss is bruising in its force but neither of them care. Yunho takes a hold of Changmin’s cock and strokes it mercilessly until Changmin’s nothing but a shaking, whimpering mess in his arms, pleading in his mouth for more.
They fumble and shift in their positions, actions clumsy with mistakes in all their desperation. It takes long enough but Changmin suddenly finds himself clutching onto Yunho for dear life again as Yunho thrusts into him, both of them crying out when the need to rush becomes overwhelming.
Yunho breathes noisily against Changmin’s chest, pressing wet kisses and nips of teeth against smooth skin while he buries himself in pleasure again, supporting Changmin’s weight against the wall, urging his lover to come, come, come.
Changmin wraps his legs tighter around Yunho’s waist and arches against the wall, lungs refusing to cooperate. A hard, ruthless thrust brings tears to his eyes and he hugs Yunho’s head against his chest, and one more thrust has him coming again, screaming Yunho’s name and doing his best not to pull the older man’s hair out.
It’s too tight and too hot and Yunho pulls out of Changmin’s body before he can come, picking Changmin up off the wall and stumbling to the bed, dropping him onto it quite unceremoniously.
“On your knees,” he chokes out, and is relieved when Changmin does just that.
He doesn’t give any warning and slams in, hand working on Changmin’s cock as he thrusts as if willing Changmin’s body to remember only him, want only him.
A choked sob reaches his ears and Yunho bites his tongue, leaning forward and kissing Changmin’s shoulder silently.
“I j-just want you, hyung,” Changmin gets out through grit teeth, arms shaking as his elbows sink into the mattress. “I just want you to myself, is that so bad?”
“No,” Yunho breathes, watching Changmin’s shoulder blades bunch. “It’s not bad at all.’
“Then why-”
Yunho pulls out again and grabs Changmin around the waist, flipping him around to look at his face.
Changmin looks rather dazed and every bit as fucked as he should be looking. “Hyung-”
“I do,” Yunho answers, staring into Changmin’s eyes, willing his gaze not to waver even though his cheeks feel like they’re on fire. “I really do.”
“What?” Changmin asks, blinking in confusion.
Yunho sighs and pulls Changmin’s legs around and behind him, pressing his cock inside crazy heat with barely any resistance at all. Changmin moans full and deep and flails his arms until he has Yunho within his reach and brings his hyung close, forcing the older man to get down on elbows and practically lie on top of him.
“Yunho, Yunho,” Changmin groans, eyes fluttering shut as Yunho gives a languid thrust, leaving a trail of wet kisses against the side of his neck.
“I do,” Yunho murmurs in his ear.
Another well positioned thrust and Changmin finds himself hanging precariously near orgasm again, clutching onto his lover’s body with all the strength he has left.
“Wh-what?” he chokes out between a moan and a whimper.
“I love you,” Yunho licks into his ear and that’s all it’ll ever take.
Changmin can feel tears well in his eyes and spill over for no good reason and he comes so harshly all he can do is claw at Yunho’s back and drag in thin threads of air through his throat.
Yunho comes almost immediately after, shouting Changmin’s name and tensing his entire body inwards as if to keep the younger man in his arms forever, releasing hard and fast in Changmin’s already come-slick passage. There are high-pitched whimpers reaching his ears and he can’t tell which ones are his.
The aftermath is full of whimpering gasps for air and the occasional shaking sniffle from Changmin. Yunho’s chest is still heaving when he pushes himself away, wincing at the soreness already settling in his muscles.
“Well fuck,” Changmin groans, trying to close his legs and sobs out a laugh as Yunho pushes them closed for him. “I can’t do this anymore, I really can’t.”
“I’m sorry,” Yunho says, more than half falling next to Changmin, struggling up on his elbows and throwing an arm over the younger man’s chest, pulling him closer. “I’m a fucking coward and I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Give me another chance.”
Changmin doesn’t look at him but lets Yunho kiss him on the cheek. “You know you’re always going to get one of those anyway.”
“Oh really,” Yunho smiles, relief washing through his system. “Good to know for future reference.”
“I hate you,” Changmin replies, finally turning his head to look at the man he’s fallen for.
Yunho smiles again and kisses the trace of wetness away from Changmin’s cheeks. “I know. I’m sorry. I love you.”
“Naturally.”
“Don’t push it.”
Changmin lifts an eyebrow.
“Okay, okay,” Yunho sighs, “I love you really really really really really a lot I do. I really do.”
“Good to know for future reference,” Changmin says, and lets Yunho kiss him the way he always has, the way he’s always needed.
---
Yunho gets the mail first when it comes and lifts an eyebrow in amusement to see a large envelope from the company mixed in with all the coupons. He brings it back to his room and pushes Changmin away from the laptop after much grumbling and pouting.
When he pops in the disc he finds inside, he’s greeted with the music video for Mirotic.
Four minutes later, both he and Changmin are staring at the laptop screen with their mouths hanging open.
One minute after that, they’re both already naked and half on the bed, kissing like they need it to survive, touching, feeling, holding onto everything they can.
“Scarves,” Changmin mouths and sucks against Yunho’s neck.
“Wet,” Yunho gasps back, pulling Changmin’s head up for another world-flipping kiss.
---
“It sure didn’t feel that sexy when we were shooting,” Changmin groans, attempting to close his legs again.
“Just leave them open. I don’t know why you even try anymore.”
“Oh shut the fuck up.”
Yunho laughs brightly and hovers above Changmin for all of two seconds before kissing him again. Changmin hums against his lips and smiles.
“It is sexy, isn’t it?”
“Hell yes,” Changmin grins, licking his lower lip seductively.
“Fans are going to die.”
“If I died watching it with you, they’re all going to die four bajillion times over.”
“Those poor, unsuspecting fools.”
“Stop talking about them and pay attention to me,” Changmin demands.
Yunho chuckles and kisses him again. “Yes, Changmin-sama?”
“Wanna watch it again?”
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