I got this from http://kawaii-massu.livejournal.com/4746.html#cutid1 too..
She's such an International writers... Really love her!!
Here's go....
Triangle
Author : kawaii_massu ( http://kawaii-massu.livejournal.com/4746.html#cutid1 )
Pairings : Yunho/Changmin, Jaejoong/.Yunho
Genre : angst, romance, fluff
Changmin Yunho Jaejoong
And this how it going to be..................
“I don’t know, Junsu, I thought he was already in the studio.”
“No, he is not there, neither Jaejoong.”
“Jae-hyung?” Changmin raised an eyebrow, “Have you ask Yoochun?”
Junsu nodded. “He didn’t know either. We already checked the restroom, the vending machine, but they weren’t seen everywhere. Where are they?”
Changmin shrugged. He wondered where was Yunho could be? It was not his habit for disappearing without telling him or the other members, especially when they were in need to do their job in the first place. And it was strange that Jaejoong disappeared at the same time with Yunho. Were they together? Changmin felt a little bit uneasy about it and a little bit worried. “No, Changmin, it’s not possible!!” He mentally slapped himself for thinking unnecessarily.
**
It was odd, Changmin thought. He didn’t know what had happened with Yunho lately. He was kind a little bit…cold? And distant? Sure he is still Yunho, the wise leader of Dong Bang Shin Ki, cheery and always happy with that toothy smile. But it was only in front of the other people. Back there in their shared bedroom, he was totally different. There was no more cuddling time when they were on bed. There was no more playfully time, no more kisses on Changmin’s forehead or all the lovey-dovey things Yunho used to do to Changmin. There was only silent or sometimes a deep sigh came out from Yunho’s mouth. No more embraces, only the older man’s back facing Changmin whenever they were slept together.
Changmin tried to ignore it at the first time he noticed the changes in his boyfriend, and he always shrugged it off from his head and told himself that maybe Yunho was just tired or not in a good mood. But being the smartest member of DBSK, Changmin noticed that it was more than that. It was just a façade, that there was another thing that Yunho tried to keep from him.
“Yunho...”
“Hmm?” Yunho mumbled from his sleeping position. It was one of the times that Yunho showed him no affection whenever there were only the two of them and whenever Changmin tries to speak to him.
“Is there—is there anything wrong?” Changmin said, with a hint of uncertainty clearly from his eyes.
Yunho took a deep breath tiredly and turned around. “What do you mean with ‘anything wrong’?”
“I don’t know.” Changmin shrugged. “But you looked…different. Is there anything that you were keeping from me?”
“It’s nothing, Changmin. You were just imagining things. Just forget it.” Yunho replied and was trying to get back to his position earlier when Changmin asked again.
“Or is there anything wrong with me?—us?”
Yunho closed and opened his eyes and sat abruptly. “God, Changmin, can you please stop it.” He snapped hard, and Changmin gasped, Yunho never talked to him like that before. “I’ve said that there’s nothing happened. I’m tired and I just wanted to sleep. Our tight schedule already killing me today and I don’t need you to distract my sleep only for unimportant thing like this. Just drop it already!”
“Oh... okay. I’m sorry.” Changmin said. His heart thumped loudly for Yunho’s reaction earlier as he stopped himself for asking another question. He didn’t want to make his boyfriend angry even more, so he laid himself down on the bed and facing the opposite way from Yunho, trying his best to hide the tears of hurt that already pooling on the corner of his eyes. A moment later, he felt Yunho did the same with him.
**
Another day with strict and tight schedule for all Dong Bang boy’s, and it stopped Changmin for thinking about Yunho. He was in fact too tired to even think about anything. He even skipped dinner, the most favorite thing Changmin likes to do, and went to sleep early that night.
But something awoke him late at midnight. He opened his eyes and glanced to the next side of his bed and found that despite Yunho’s sleeping figure, he found no one sleeping there. He looked to the clock on the table beside his bed and it was 1 o’clock in the morning.
“Maybe Yunho’s in the bathroom.” He said to himself. He felt thirsty and a little bit hungry since he hadn’t eaten his dinner. He got up from the bed and went to pour him a glass of water at the kitchen. He swallowed down the water in one gulp before he noticed that the TV in the living room was still on. He sneaked to see whom of his hyungs who still up at the time like this with the glass still in his grip.
There were two people there. Firstly he thought it was Yoochun and Junsu, but the dark-short-brown hair of his boyfriend caught his attention and he was with....Jaejoong. Changmin’s heart suddenly fell at lost as he saw the sight in front of him. The sight of his boyfriend and Jaejoong sat together next to each other with one of Yunho’s arms firmly rested on Jaejoong’s shoulder and Jaejoong’s head on his. The most shocking thing Changmin saw that the leader of the group suddenly tilted his head another way in search of Jaejoong’s lips. Yunho’s now engulfs Jaejoong’s lips in his as they kissed passionately.
On the other side, Junsu who just got out from the bathroom, caught Changmin’s figure standing stiffly and his face paled just as he had seen a ghost. Junsu approached him, curiously following Changmin’s gaze. His pupil grew wider at the sight of Jaejoong and Yunho kissing hungrily like there’s no tomorrow.
Changmin unconsciously dropped the glass down on the floor as he realized what he just saw.
The loud sound of the glass shattered on the floor stopped the two on the couch from their kiss. They diverted their eyes to the source of the sound and froze to find Changmin stood there with a shock written all over his face and not far from Changmin there was Junsu.
“Changmin…” Yunho called the younger and gulped nervously as he was sure that Changmin already saw the kiss he did with Jaejoong.
Changmin woke up from his daze. “Oh my God, s—sorry... I—I didn’t mean to…” Changmin stopped his words as he bent down on his knees, eyes started to wet and teary. His body trembled hardly and he tried his best to stop his hands from shaking as he collected the pieces on the tiled-floor one by one, but he couldn’t. His tears already found their way down to his cheek and he ended up with hurting himself as the glass ripped his palm and drew blood on it. Changmin let out a moan as he felt the pain.
“Changmin are you okay?” Yunho said and quickly stepped and knelt in front of Changmin. He was just wanted to touch Changmin but he backed away.
“Yunho... Don’t—don’t touch me!” He said, his voice trembling the same way with his body and Yunho pulled his hand away from the younger. His heart filled with worry and guilt towards the younger. Changmin gripped his wounded hand tightly with the other hand and started to sob quietly.
Junsu, who still froze suddenly snapped back from his shock and he rushed to Changmin’s side. “Are you okay Changminnie?” Junsu said, knelt down beside him and saw the bleeding from Changmin’s hand. “Come on, let’s go.” Junsu glanced to Yunho and then Jaejoong with a look of disbelief before helping Changmin stand on his feet and took him away from there. Changmin insisted not to be taken to his shared room with Yunho and Junsu ended up taking him into his shared room with Yoochun. He felt relief that Yoochun wasn’t there at the moment, because the latter said that he will spent the night in his working room to finish his new song.
He sat Changmin down on his bed before grabbing the first aid kit box from his drawer. He quickly started to take care of Changmin’s wound and wrapped it nicely with a band aid. The latter still in a shock mode as his tears kept flowing down like a river to his thigh. Junsu doesn’t know what to do with him and he had no courage to talk to the younger man, scared that Changmin will hurt even more if he tries to comfort him.
“I—I should have thought about it... I should have—“ Changmin choked, stuttering with his words between his endless tears. Junsu shushed him and offered him his embrace which Changmin eagerly accepted. He buried his face in Junsu’s chest and Junsu held him tight, rubbing his back slowly in a calming way. Junsu let Changmin laid beside him and kept silent as he held Changmin in his embrace and watching him drifted to sleep when he’s tired from all crying things.
**
Changmin woke up in the morning to the sound of two people’s debating in front of the room’s door. His eyelids fluttering heavily and he could feel the swell of his eyes but he could care less at it as he tried to hear clearly what the peoples said. He recognized Junsu’s voice.
“No, Hyung, let him sleep. He was tired from crying all night long and it was because of you.” He yelled.
“I know.” Yunho said, he looked down to his feet but no matter what happened he has to explain everything to Changmin. “But, please Junsu, I need to talk to him.”
“I said no, Yunho!” Junsu insisted.
“But I’m still his boyfriend. I had the right to talk to him and explain myself to him.” Yunho desperately begging and it only made Junsu even angrier at the leader.
He yelled back to Yunho. “Don’t you dare to claim that you were his boyfriend after what you did with Jaejoong-hyung last night! You had lost the right to call yourself Changmin’s boyfriend the moment you betrayed him and kissed Jaejoong.”
Changmin sighed. He thought that it was already the time for him to end their fight. He doesn’t want to be the reason for them to fight each other. He slowly opened the door and revealed himself to the other two. Yunho and Junsu were looking at him at the same time, Junsu with his worried look and Yunho with his guilty look. Yunho was stiffening at the sight of his younger lover. His cheeks puffy, eyes swollen so badly, and the feeling of guilty rushed to Yunho’s heart once again. His heart was broken when he saw sadness hinted in Changmin’s eyes.
“Changmin...” Yunho started.
“I will talk to you later, Yunho, but not now. I’m not ready yet.” Changmin said weakly, refused to see Yunho straight in his eyes. Changmin left Yunho glued to his spot quickly without waiting for an answer. Junsu was following right behind him. They went to the kitchen and found Jaejoong and Yoochun. Jaejoong, in Changmin points of view, was pretended to busy himself in making breakfast when Changmin entered the room, and Yoochun glanced at Junsu questioningly as he noticed the change of Jaejoong’s nervously reaction. Junsu didn’t give him an answer and Changmin went to talk to Yoochun.
“Hyung, can you do me a favor?” He asked.
Yoochun was not sure at first but he nodded anyway. “It’s about the room arrangement. Can you sleep in my room for a while and let me stay with Junsu?”
He glanced at Junsu and Junsu nodded while muttering an unspeakable ‘let him be’ to Yoochun from his gaze. Yoochun sighed and he nodded. “Sure.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
**
After the incident, the tension between them was growing in a frustrating way. Changmin still refused to talk to either Yunho or Jaejoong. Jaejoong was silently keeping himself away from both Yunho and Changmin. And Yunho, Yunho was frustrated. Suddenly he was getting different from the leader Yunho used to. His mind was always far and deep inside his own head. He’s unfocused in any of their work and he even messed up their dance performance at stage, something that Yunho won’t and never did before. They left Junsu and Yoochun on a confusing matter to deal with three problematic members.
It’s not just them, but it affected their job as well. When there was group interview the three off them were pretending that everything went well as it is and tried to act intimately to each other, formed fake smile in it. But when it’s over, they were back to their selves, keeping their selves away from each other. Even the staff could tell that something happened between Changmin, Yunho and Jaejoong, but they never asked about it. Junsu has noticed that manager hyung called Yunho during the photo shoot session. He guessed that the manager was asking him about the problem, but he can’t clearly hear them and after Yunho bent his head twice—it seemed he was asking for his apologies—the manager let him back to his job.
“Changmin, you should talk to them, both Yunho and Jaejoong.” Junsu said carefully when Changmin entered his now shared room with Junsu.
Changmin was silent just looking to Junsu with a blank expression as he sat down on his bed.
“Minnie… It’s not good for all of us, you know. It affected not only our relationship, but the job as well. I know that you were hurt and all, but how long you would stay like this? You were killing yourself.”
Changmin sighed and he looked down to his hand on his lap. He thought about what Junsu has said to him and found that Junsu was right. No matter what happened, he can’t keep going to be like this forever. He has to move on, with or without Yunho as his lover, and Changmin claimed that the band is more important than anything of this, because it was his life and he knew he can’t live without it as a part of his life.
“I will, Hyung... I will...” Changmin finally managed to say and Junsu smiled at him calmingly.
He swifts his body closer to Changmin and gave him a friendly hug. “You have to know that I would always stay here whenever you need someone to talk to. You understand?”
Changmin nodded. “Thanks, Su.”
**
It was the right time that Changmin decided to talk to Jaejoong and it was hard to face him, but then only he realized that he has to do it now or never. There were only the two of them in the apartment because the other three were gone to do some recording at the studio.
Changmin came out from his room and peeked at the kitchen, looking for the sight of Jaejoong, but he wasn’t there. He looked to the living room, but he wasn’t there either, and then he went to check the balcony, and there he was. He stood there and looking somewhere Changmin had no idea.
Changmin wasn’t sure about how to start the conversation with the oldest and he felt nervous so sudden. But then he thought why would he’s the one in nervous? He didn’t do anything wrong and just give it a shot. So Changmin stepped to the balcony and he stood beside Jaejoong.
Jaejoong, who can sense the presence of anybody else standing beside of him, suddenly turned around and he saw Changmin, the one who he couldn’t face for the entire week. “M—Min...” He didn’t know why Changmin was there and what he intends to do.
Changmin took a deep breath and settled his voice. “We need to talk, Hyung.”
Jaejoong gulped and nodded weakly. “I—I’m sorry.” Jaejoong started. “I—I know and I understand if you were mad at me after what I had done, Min-ah... But I...”
“Hyung, look,” Changmin cutting him off, “I need to talk to you not to hear you mumbling excuses.” He said firmly. He noticed how timid his hyung at the moment, but he had to make it clear. He didn’t know either if he was mad or not, because all he wanted to do now was finding an answer, finding a way to understand. “I just wanted to know the reason, hyung, that’s all.” He softly said at the end of his words.
Jaejoong groaned frustratingly. He didn’t want to tell Changmin about how he was feeling, but the look in the younger’s eyes were telling him that he insisted to know the truth from him. And he realized there’s no used to running away from this moment. “If you really wanted to know, Changmin, I loved him. I loved him since I can’t really tell you exactly because all I could do is love him. That’s why.”
Silent came from Changmin and Jaejoong wait. Jaejoong waited him for accusing him, for him to say that he hates him because he hurts him, because he had taken his boyfriend. But there’s nothing came out just like Jaejoong had expected. Jaejoong glanced at Changmin from the corner of his eyes and suddenly froze. Changmin wasn’t looking at him but he had a smile on his face. A smile?! Jaejoong can not believe in his dongsaeng’s expression. It wasn’t the expression he expected Changmin had because no one would smile at something like that.
He opened his mouth again in attempt to make Changmin look at him. “Why? Why wouldn’t you angry at me? Why wouldn’t you say you hate me? Why Changmin?” Jaejoong desperately asked and Changmin looking at him as he lifted his hand to touch Jaejoong’s shaking shoulder.
“I can never do that. I can never say that I hate you because I won’t and I don’t want to. You already answered my question and it was exactly what I wanted to hear from you.” He said softly.
“What do you mean?” Jaejoong asked carefully, eyes never leaving the younger man’s figure, and Changmin pulled his hand away from Jaejoong and diverted his gaze to the sight of the Seoul city from their spot. He inhaled the sweet smell of autumn and felt the wind breeze soothingly on his skin.
“I loved you as a brother and you were my best friend, hyung. You know, I loved Yunho as much as I can remember I ever loved someone. And knowing the fact that there’s someone else loving him equally as much as I do, I felt relief. I felt relief because I knew that you would love him and won’t ever hurt him,” Changmin sighed, “so I could finally let him go.”
In hearing of what Changmin had said, Jaejoong’s eyes grew wider. He quickly grabbed Changmin’s shoulder, turned him so the younger man could look him straight in his eyes. “Changmin, please don’t do this. Please don’t do this to your self, I don’t deserve that!”
Changmin took Jaejoong’s hand away from his shoulders and had it in his own hands. “No, hyung, I meant it. I’m tired for all of these avoiding things between the three of us, and I’m sure there’s reason why he chose you over me. And the only thing came up in my mind was to let go off Yunho and let Yunho free.”
“Changmin, I—I’m sorry—“
“Please don’t say you’re sorry, hyung, because I don’t want to hear it. I just wanted to get over it so we could start anew.” Changmin let go off Jaejoong’s hands and he gave Jaejoong a short hug before completely pulled himself away from Jaejoong and from the balcony, leaving him glued to his spot and Changmin could hear a low sob a moment later when he passed the kitchen to his room. One of his purposes was accomplished and the next, the hardest part of this, is to face Yunho.
**
“Changmin...” Yunho called the younger carefully as he entered their dance studio where Changmin was after the rehearsal was over. The other three members were already going home to give Yunho and Changmin times to solve their problem together. The younger turned around to face Yunho.
‘God, give me strength to face him.’ Changmin prayed inside his heart.
“Junsu said that…you…uh wanted to talk to me.” He stood a couple steps away from Changmin.
Changmin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, hyung. I want to talk.” He sat down, leaning to the big mirror on the room’s wall. “Can you sit next to me, hyung?”
Yunho nodded weakly and did what Changmin told him. They were silent for couples of minutes before Changmin speak.
“Well, is there anything you want to say to me, hyung?”
“I’m sorry, Min.” Yunho said weakly.
Changmin let out a small bitter laugh. “Is that all?” He asked, but when there is no answer for Yunho, Changmin rolled his eyes. He thought that maybe Yunho isn’t ready to talk after all. He was in attempt to stand up before Yunho’s hand gripped his wrist, begging him not to leave just yet.
“I’m sorry.” He said again, a sigh came out from his mouth next. “I should have never done that to you, Changmin. I—I just… No… I was so tired. Became the group’s leader was never easy on me. I had to try hard more than anyone else for the sake of our group. And sometimes…when I felt I couldn’t do that anymore, when I felt I had enough of that, I was so break down. But I don’t know why I couldn’t come to you. I can never let myself open to you.” Changmin listened to him and Yunho stop for a moment before continuing. “When everything had become worse, I wanted to run away, but then—but then Jaejoong came to me and—”
“And he comforted you?” Changmin finished Yunho’s words, even if his words were killing him. It hurts to know that your own boyfriend didn’t have faith in you to his problems.
“—yes.” He admitted. His eyes were looking every where but Changmin, afraid of what he would find on Changmin’s expression. “He was always there when I needed a company the most. He supported me, lend me his shoulder to cry on, and then I became addicted to his presence. After that, I thought that maybe I had fallen in love with him.” At this, Changmin could feel something squeezed his heart so tight that it might shatter in any second. He can hardly breathe and he pressed his hand on his chest to calm it down. He kept himself staying still to hear Yunho’s story. “I didn’t dare to tell you. Instead, I started ignoring you, acting cold to you, keeping a distant from you. But I knew it was a mistake—“
Yunho turned and locked his eyes on Changmin. “Every day—every single night after the time you caught me with Jaejoong, I can not sleep at all. I felt very guilty to you, but it’s not the main reason, Min. When I found Yoochun slept beside me on our bead instead of you, I felt so lonely. I felt another half of me was missing. When you’re didn’t smile at me, I saw my world disappeared right in front of my eyes. I missed you so bad that I couldn’t do anything’s right. It was the time when I finally realized that Jaejoong was only a short affection to me, that I loved you more than I ever knew. I love you, Changmin.” Yunho reached Changmin’s hand and squeezed it gently.
Changmin let him have his hand for a while. He wanted to feel Yunho’s warm hands for even just a minute—because he knew he missed Yunho as well—before pulling away.
He looked away from Yunho’s gaze. “Yunho... I—No, I mean, thank you for explaining it to me.” Changmin said, forming a sad smile across his face. “Actually, I’m not sure what to say at the moment. But Yunho... I wanted to believe in you so bad, but I’m not sure what to believe in. I’m hurt, you’re hurt, and Jaejoong also hurts, and I don’t know whether I could still handle this or not. I already talk to Jaejoong-hyung about this, and I’ve told him my decision.”
“Changmin...”
“Let’s end this, hyung.”
Yunho blinked his eyes. “What—what do you mean?”
“Yes, Yunho—let’s not date each other anymore.” Yunho’s eyes grew wider and Changmin looked down to his feet.
“No!! No, Changmin!! Don’t do this to me, to us! I’m sorry, but please don’t say you want to end our relationship!!” Yunho grabbed Changmin’s shoulder and forcing him to face Yunho.
“No, Yunho.” He stubbornly said. “It’s already my decision.”
“Min... don’t—don’t you love me anymore?”
Changmin refused to look at Yunho. He really wanted to tell Yunho that he loved him. He loved him so much that it hurts. But he couldn’t. He already decided to gave up his love on Yunho, so he said, “It doesn’t matter whether I still love you or not, because you knew the answer. But it’s not the problem, hyung.” Changmin sighed. “Please don’t hurt Jaejoong-hyung’s feeling, because he loved you, and I don’t want to break his heart. He’s my friend.”
“And what about me? What about my feeling? I love you.” Yunho said softly and he ran his hand on Changmin’s cheek. He didn’t want to let go off Changmin. No, he can’t let that happen.
Changmin rolled his eyes desperately and yanked Yunho’s hand away from him. “No Yunho!! If you love me, you wouldn’t go to Jaejoong in the first place and kissed him!!!” Changmin said hard and Yunho froze. Changmin covered his eyes with his hands and then shook his head hard. He let go off his hands away from his face, and Yunho saw the tears already welling in his eyes.
Changmin inhaled deeply and bit his lips. “I’m sorry... I never wanted to say that, but... I guessed it’s just came out.”
Yunho nodded, understandingly. He thought about what Changmin said, and he can’t deny it anymore. It was his fault. He wasn’t supposed to run to Jaejoong at the first place, and now he had ruined everything.
“You have to learn to let it go, Yunho, because I do too. From now on, there will be no HoMin couple, because we weren’t meant to be together anymore. In this relationship, there will be only YunJae.” Changmin stood from his sitting position and walking towards the door. He held the knob but turned to face Yunho for the last time before walking out. Yunho still had his eyes on Changmin and wait for everything Changmin wants to say.
“Let’s go back to the time when there is no HoMin. Let’s go back to where there is only Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin, hyung and dongsaeng.” Changmin turned the door knob and stepped out only to lean his back against the studio’s already closed door. He covered his mouth to prevent any sob coming out from his mouth as he cried. It was so hard for him to let go off Yunho, but he have to do it. It was the best he can do for them, to sacrifice his love for the sake of everyone’s happiness, because they were so precious to him.
**
“Changmin...” Yunho called the younger man during the break of their recording session. That was when Changmin practiced his vocalization with Yoochun. Changmin was singing and Yoochun played the piano.
“Yes, hyung?” Changmin said as casually as he could.
“Um... can we talk?” Yunho said and Changmin nodded. Yoochun got up to get himself out so the two could talk. He knows that this is the time Yunho wanted to talk to Changmin, because last night Yunho told him everything. He patted Yunho’s shoulder gently before going out the room, Yunho nodded gratefully to him.
As for Yunho, he finally has his decision. After having a deep thinking last night, he decided to agree with Changmin. Because, he knew there’s nothing he could do at the moment. It was all his fault and he had nothing to make up his mistake to Changmin, and the only one thing he could came up was to follow what Changmin wanted him to do.
“I’ve been thinking and I’ve considering so many things about what you said to me yesterday.” He said carefully. Changmin wasn’t giving him any reaction, just listened to him and then gave Yunho a signal to continue. “I—I agree with you to not date each other anymore, and from now on, I’ll try my hardest not to disappoint you in any other way, and I would think about Jaejoong earnestly.”
Changmin approached the older man. “I’m glad that you would do so, hyung. But please do remember, if you want to do something, do it for yourself. Do it for your happiness only. Not because of me, but do it because you want to do so.” Changmin said softly and he gave a warm smile to Yunho. “I would be happy that you would be the Yunho I knew. And if there’s anything happen and you need someone to talk, please do remember you still have us. The four of us will always be there for you and we will help you to solve every problem together. Ok?” Changmin rest his hands on Yunho’s shoulder and gave him a soft squeeze as he smiled to him.
Yunho nodded. “So... we’re doing good, right?” Yunho asked.
Changmin nodded. “Sure, we’re always doing good.”
“So, can you give me a hug?”
Changmin rolled his eyes to Yunho’s request, but he grinned anyways as he said, “Come here.”
Yunho pulled Changmin’s body to his as he held him in a tight hug. He tried to memorize the feelings of Changmin’s body against him, and he doesn’t want to forget it even just for a bit. “Thank you, Changmin.”
**
After the conversation Changmin had with Yunho, everything seemed to be normal for him. Jaejoong had already back to the old Jaejoong, happy and wonderful cook. He was back to the umma for the group and taking care almost everything at the house and what Changmin wanted to jump at him the most was the fact that Jaejoong always made him his favorite meal and dealt the younger’s big appetite very well. Well, no one could resist Jaejoong’s cook, Changmin thought.
Another thing he noticed was from Yunho. The leader seemed already get over Changmin and he really accepted the fact that they weren’t dating anymore and he was glad for all of that, because everyone in the band was happy and they doing their job perfectly like they did before the things between him, Yunho and Jaejoong occurred. He was glad that everything was going well between Jaejoong and Yunho, and he meant it. He smiled at the thought.
Honestly, he is still in love with Yunho and he wasn’t going to deny it. He still didn’t know if he could forget about his love towards the leader of the group, but Changmin was never regretting what he has decided, because it was the right thing. It was never a mistake to do the right thing and Changmin came up with a decision that he will keep his love towards Yunho deep inside his heart until he is ready to let it go and find his own happiness, or maybe a new love.
But what Changmin failed to notice was the look Yunho always gave to him every time they were together. It was the looks of love, the looks of longing that Yunho still had in his heart for Changmin. Yunho already agreed with him, he agreed to let go off Changmin and tried his hardest to love Jaejoong, but he couldn’t lie to himself. Deep inside his heart he wanted to believe that Changmin still his, mind, body and soul, but as Changmin had said to him, he has to learn to live without his love to Changmin and he didn’t want to disappoint Changmin, especially Jaejoong. The eldest was already tried his best to made up everything for him and Changmin, and he didn’t wants to hurt him anymore. He had hurts so many people and he didn’t want to make a mistake anymore, as a leader of the group or as a friend, he has to do his best.
But despite of everything about Changmin and Yunho, apparently Jaejoong had a different thought. He noticed that Yunho still loved Changmin as much as Changmin loved Yunho and he promised to himself that he won’t keep silence and says nothing. He will do something about it.
**
“Studying?” Jaejoong said as he entered Changmin’s room with a jar of cookies he baked this afternoon. The younger turned and smiled, his eyes tired between his glasses. “Hyung...”
Jaejoong smiled to him. “Hi...”
He sighed. “Hi to you too... Well I have exam next week and this studying things and our job at the same time were slowly killing me inside.” He whined as he took his glasses and put it aside on the table.
“Here, I brought you cookies, so you wouldn’t be hungry while doing your study.” He put the jar on Changmin’s table and then sat on Changmin’s shared bed with Junsu.
“Oww, you’re the best, Hyung.” Changmin beamed and he took one of the cookies and took a bite. Jaejoong chuckled. The younger was always eager with food, but that’s the reason why Jaejoong loved to cook for him. But it’s not the main reason he came to Changmin’s room, and it was more important than giving him cookies. Let’s get over it, Jaejoong thought.
“Changmin...”
“Hmm?” Changmin asked while chewing happily.
“I broke up with Yunho.”
Changmin froze, and he dropped the cookie in his grip.
“B—but why??” He quickly rushed to Jaejoong’s side on the bed. “Did he hurt you?” He asked worriedly. It’s only three weeks, but why they would broke up after Changmin had let Yunho go with Jaejoong.
“No, it’s not that.” Jaejoong said quickly. “He never hurt me, Changmin-ah. In fact he treated me very well.”
“So why?”Changmin asked again, he’s still confused.
“It’s just that—I don’t think that this is the right thing for me, for us. Even though he tried his best to give me love and make me feel that I was loved, but I know that he was forcing himself, Min. In fact he will never love me, because deep inside his heart there’s always you. He loved you so much that he decided to keep his love to himself just to make you happy, to make you at ease.” Jaejoong explained. It was hard for him to do this, but he knew it will be worth it.
Changmin was silent. He tried to process Jaejoong’s word in his tired brain. “But you loved him, hyung. Why wouldn’t you give him a chance to prove himself to you?”
Jaejoong suddenly smiled and Changmin startled. “I should ask you the same question then. Why wouldn’t you?”
At this question Changmin opened and then only to shut his mouth again, knowingly that he can’t answers Jaejoong’s question. He squeezed his own hands nervously not knowing what to say to his hyung.
“Min, listen.” Jaejoong lifted Changmin’s chin so he could lock his eyes to him. “I know that you were still in loved with Yunho as much as he did to you. I would rather to see him happy with you than to have him forcing himself with me. I loved the Yunho who is happy with you not the Yunho who tried to love me even though he can’t. He was suffering, and I didn’t have the heart to let him dying inside.”
“Hyung, I—“ Changmin tried to speak, but Jaejoong didn’t let him.
“I’m not done yet, Min-ah. I had listened to you, but now it’s your turn to listen to me.” Changmin unsurely nodded and Jaejoong sighed. “Don’t be so stubborn, Changmin. If you wanted us to be happy then find Yunho, don’t let him suffer anymore because of you. It’s only you who could save him from his loneliness. You. Not me, not Junsu, not Yoochun, but you.” Jaejoong pointed his index finger on Changmin’s chest. “You don’t have to think about me, because this is what exactly I really wanted. I want him to be happy with you.”
“A—are you sure...hyung?”
Jaejoong nodded certainly. Changmin couldn’t think anymore. He felt enough just to hear from Jaejoong’s words and he don’t have any doubt in his heart for what he would do next. He looked at Jaejoong’s figure and he gave him a long hug. He didn’t know how to say and how to tell Jaejoong how much he appreciates him.
“I love you, hyung.” That’s only he could say to the older man as he tightening his held to Jaejoong’s body.
“I love you too, dongsaeng.” Jaejoong smiled, tears welling in his eyes, but it was not because he was sad. It was because he was relief and finally at ease. He wiped his tears before Changmin pulled away so the latter wouldn’t see that he’s been crying.
Changmin pulled away after that and then he stood up, walking towards the door after giving Jaejoong his best smile. He ran quickly to the living room almost bumping to Junsu in front of their room to the living room. There was Yoochun watching his favorite drama on the television.
“Hyung, where’s Yunho?” Changmin asked.
“Ah... He just went out. He said that he wanted to get some fresh air and honestly he looked a bit down.” Yoochun told him and Changmin felt the urged to find Yunho getting bigger inside his chest.
“Thank’s hyung.” Changmin quickly ran out from the apartment without his jacket. He really wanted to see Yunho now because he couldn’t take this overwhelming feeling anymore. He felt that he will die any time soon if he couldn’t see Yunho immediately. But Changmin knows where he is. After dating him for two years, he understood Yunho’s habit more than his. And if Yunho was really down just like Yoochun said, Changmin knows he must be there.
**
After Changmin left him, Jaejoong still sat on Changmin’s bed for a little while until he realized Junsu sat next to him. The thing is that Junsu had heard their conversation when he wanted to take his phone that he left on his drawer.
“I’m sorry for eavesdropping on your conversation with Changmin, but I think, you’ve done the right thing, Hyung.” Junsu said, he patted Jaejoong’s shoulder encouragingly.
“Yeah, I guessed so. It’s all that I could do, and now it depends on Changmin’s decision.”
“Yeah... Let’s just hope that they would be finally realizing that they were meant to each other.”
Jaejoong nodded and Junsu rubbed his back soothingly. “You too, please be strong Jaejoong-hyung.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
**
Changmin ran to the kids playing ground near their apartment and he looked to his left and right, searching for the sight of his band’s leader. He was sure that Yunho’s here, because this place was the place where Yunho usually go when he needed to calm himself down. And there he is, sitting on one of the swings with eyes fixed on the ground. Changmin was happy that he finally found Yunho. He stopped for a while, inhaled a large mounts of oxygen to his lungs before he decided to approach Yunho.
“Hei...” Changmin said as he walked up to him and the older man looking up to him.
“Changmin, what are you doing here?” Yunho asked, confused why the other man was here at the time like this and it was late at night.
“I was just taking a walk and then I saw you here.” Changmin lied and he sat down on the swing beside Yunho’s.
“Oh...” He returned his gaze to the ground and stared there blankly.
“So what are you doing here?” Changmin asked again.
“Just thinking.” He shortly answered and forcing a small smile.
“What are you thinking then?”
“A lot of things, I guessed.”
Changmin took a deep breathe as he swings slowly. Letting himself feels the sensation of swinging in the air. Just like a little kid, he found it really fun. But suddenly he remembered why he was there.
“Jaejoong-hyung told me.” He started and he could feel Yunho stiffening at his words, but he still doesn’t look to his face.
Yunho glanced at Changmin who still swinging in the air. His face was glowing in the dim liht of the street lamp and Yunho mesmerized by the younger’s beauty. But he chose not to answering Changmin. He couldn’t pretend that the things happened between him and Jaejoong wasn’t affected him. In fact it was taking a lot of his nerves. He didn’t want to admit that at this point he still in love with the younger man beside him. At the moment, he felt that he was unwanted by both Changmin and Jaejoong, but he wasn’t at the place to complaint though. He fully understood that it’s his fault, because the mistake he had been made is unforgivable. He hurts Changmin just because of a short affection to Jaejoong and now he had hurt Jaejoong too. He didn’t know how he could make it up to the two of them.
On the lack of response from Yunho, Changmin stopped himself from swinging. Yunho diverted his eyes away from Changmin.
“Hyung, why won’t you talk to me?” He asked a little bit desperate.
“What am I supposed to say, Changmin? I’m not even in the state to be able to say anything. I—I don’t even have any guts to face you, don’t you understand.” Finally he said as desperate as he could, and Changmin softening to him, looking at how fragile and broken Yunho was at the moment. He ran his finger to his hair before took a step in front of Yunho. He knelt down and cupped Yunho’s cheeks with his hands, his eyes fixed to Yunho’s.
“I only needed you to do one thing for me, Yunho. I only need to know what was in your mind.” Changmin said softly to him as he rubbed Yunho’s cheek with the back of his hand gently. Yunho closed his eyes, leaning to Changmin’s touch as his life was depends on it.
“Yunho?” He softly said his name as he felt a drop of tears on his hand. Yunho was crying and his heart broke.
“I—I’m sorry, Changmin. God, I’m sorry. I love you. I love you so much and I’m scared. God I was scared that I won’t be able to be with you anymore. I hurt you, Jaejoong, and us. Don’t you know how much I hated myself for all of that?” Changmin pulled Yunho to his embrace and he let Yunho broke down in his arms.
“I know, hyung. I know.”
Yunho pulled himself away from Changmin and he wiped his own tears with his hands but Changmin took his hands in his.
“I love you.” Changmin finally said, his eyes mismatched from his smile and Yunho startled. He opened his mouth in agape.
“Changmin...W-what—“ Did Changmin said what he thought he said? Yunho thought. It was a simple line, but it means everything to him.
“God, Yunho, now you lost your hearing ability. What happened?” Changmin grinned playfully and Yunho blinked his eyes so many times, he still couldn’t believe in what he just heard. Changmin rolled those mismatched eyes from Yunho’s frozen figure. “Great, now you’re lost your speaking ability too.”
But Yunho suddenly cupped his cheeks and pulled Changmin’s body to his as he crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss, needy and desperate. Yunho thought how he missed this. It felt like forever since he could be this close to Changmin. He moaned between their kiss as he devoured the younger man’s lips, turning his head to another angle he deepen the kiss and sliding his tongue, entering the sweet cavern of Min’s mouth. They only pulled apart from the need of air, but Yunho still refused to let go off Changmin’s body as he held him tight. “Please say that I’m not dreaming, that it is real.” He said.
“No, you’re not, hyung. It’s real. I’m real.”
“I missed you so much, Min.” He’s tightening his hands around Changmin’s body.
Changmin nodded and smiles, slipping his hands on Yunho’s waist.
They pulled apart. “Does this means that we’re together? That you will let me be with you once again?” Yunho asked, looking deeply into Changmin’s brown orbs with full of expectation.
“Only if you promise me one thing.”
“Just say it!” Changmin chuckled when Yunho said rather impatient. It was because he couldn’t stand the fact that he was given a chance by Changmin to be with him, and hell he would do everything.
“Promise me that from now on, whenever you feel lonely, you won’t go to look for anybody else and come only to me whenever you need to talk at the first place. And the most important thing, promise me that you will let me know all the things you have in your mind. Will you do that?”
“I will. I promise I’ll do everything you want me to as long as I could be with you. And I promise I won’t hurt you again ever.” Yunho said quickly and he got a wide smile as a reply.
“Then the answer to your question is a ‘yes’.”
Once again Yunho take him in his arms. “I love you, Min, so much.”
Changmin looked at Yunho’s face and gave him a peck to his lips before saying, “And I love you too.”
- Fin-
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